In John 15:1-6, Jesus says, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches. He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned."

Years had gone by. So did any feeling of unity in my family. Shortly after my parent's written divorce during my freshman year in high school, I started to explore the world of drugs. Marijuana on occasion at the beginning. For so long I had spoken against it, seeing with my own eyes what role it had in the corruption of our family. We had no good example set before us. We knew our parents still partied and used marijuana. I lived with my mother, who both smoked and provided weed for me. My dad, who got drunk every night and smoked an occasional joint, having the "do as I say, not as I do attitude." Our dad hated what was becoming of us kids. We were becoming what he was. He didn't understand how we all were being influenced by a curse on our lives. His father was a chain smoking, hard alcohol-drinking grouch. Exodus 20:5 says ... For I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.  In the light of this scripture, which is the Word of God, I took a look at myself and my family and began to see us all under what the scripture and bible refer to as a...generational curse.

At the same time, I was trying to be two people - playing basketball I was Mr. Jock who was just having a hard time because his family was splitting up - and Mr. Partier who hated the world. I didn't know it, but there was someone at the open gyms (basketball) that had an idea of what was going on in my life. Wade Sullivan was the new kid who played the same position as I did in basketball. At first I didn't like him, for reason of competition. We ended up having biology class together and started having good talks and laughed all the time. Before long, I considered him a friend and trusted what he had to say.

I will never forget one day I sat next to him on the bus going to Bozeman, Montana for a game. He was talking about Jesus, the end times, the rapture, and so on. A lot of it sounded far-fetched, but there was a deep realization that these things were real. My heart was struck with fear and I wanted to hear more. From this point on, Wade really began to press into me about Jesus, giving his testimony, and his struggles. He didn't just get into me, he related. One Saturday nearing the end of my sophomore year, he invited me to a meeting. People were talking about their struggles, also being honest and transparent about themselves. Not just like your average church, there was something deeper I was drawn to...The presence of JESUS. Then there was an altar call, I was prayed over and I had my first and strongest encounter with the Lord. I wept. Alive and full of energy. A new purpose for my life was introduced, one that would have me never view life the same again. Something inside me said this is the key to happiness and life. Little did I know I was going to receive major rejection from my family. Full of life and confidence, I shared my experience with my father. My dad's response was, "Don't talk to me about religion, I've seen it all, it will destroy relationships and build some also." This was a matter I trusted him on.  So I eased off and took the mind set that I didn't need anything he didn't. Deep down I knew I was wrong and denied Jesus' knock on my door.

My junior year rolled around. And I began to roll...downhill in a destructive way. I let go of any moral standard or personal responsibility of my life. Taking LSD, and smoking dope everyday-all day. During this shameful time in my life, I found myself a girlfriend who was a 4.0 student and had a good outlook in life. It sounds odd to bring her up in my testimony, but I feel it is important be aware of what effect we have on peoples' lives. I would pervert the words of God to justify my pointless attitudes. I would preach and then have sex with her. I was a hypocrite. I have faith that Jesus will work a mighty work in her life and patch up the pathetic testimony she received from me. Nevertheless, I fear to see what would have happened if I didn't have true repentance in my heart for filling my lust at the expense of someone else's life. We men should really judge our motives towards women. Yes, women have their decision to make, but my position of being a man is the looking glass I'm speaking on. 

So many of us ignore the fact that we will face Jesus and will be held accountable at the end of our lives. You wouldn't want someone messing with your daughter like she belonged to him. Marriage is a covenant between two people and the Lord. To have intimacy with no covenant is a destructive path and a sin unto death. You don't want to feel the wrath of God at the end of your life because you couldn't judge your lust. Jesus says in Matthew 5:27-28, Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery in his heart already. I admit I struggle, but I chose to fight and judge with the strength Jesus has given me. He sees that, and I receive grace. Search your heart. After all, it's your soul, and whoever's soul you tango with. Through obeying the words of God, you will receive a love you never would have found in the flesh.

My life for the next two years would only get darker and further from the Lord, and the pressure of the kingdom of God was getting greater and greater, bringing me to the realization that I had no future in the life I was choosing to lead. Let's go back to the day I was first prayed for at the end of my sophomore year. I was not filled with the Spirit, nor spoke in heavenly tongues (which has happened when I was later filled with the Spirit) but I was born again. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, that seed had been planted and I saw differently from that day forth. There was conviction where there hadn't been before. That conviction would only grow and my heart would only become heavier as I was in the transition from a boy to a man. So in March of 1998, with as much as I knew to give, I gave in to the Lord. I literally sold what I had and went with Gene Sullivan and Jump for Jesus to Tonga for ministry that June. Being with this team of men for the next two months gave me a good dose of the requirements God has for men that will to serve Him.

I went back to Billings as scheduled and pondered which way to choose. I was still pretty selfish, not yet seeing the calling Jesus had on my life. At this time, Jump for Jesus had been in the final stages of leaving Montana for Ministry in the South Pacific, being based in Hawaii. Jump for Jesus would return for one last jump in Billings that August before the doors shut there for a while. Looking back, this is my "crossroads" milestone. I was invited to help out as part of the crew. As it turns out, it was a much bigger invitation than that. There was an altar call with the message being, "If you come up here, your life will not be yours anymore, it will be in the hands of Jesus." While being prayed for, I asked the Lord to make me a man of God. I'm not sure if I will ever see the fullness of what happened at that moment, but since then, there has been a confidence that I never had before. It gave me a purpose to live for. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life." John 14:6. That is all the more purpose any of us need. Through the grace and keeping of God, I will be a man of truth and walk in the way and life of Jesus.

In Feb. of 1999 I moved to Hawaii and into the family of God that I was called to. The scripture that best explains my new life in Jesus is Psalm 68:5-6, "A father of the fatherless and a judge of the widows is God in His holy habitation. He bringeth out the solitary in families, He bringeth out those which are bound in chains!" Without the family He has given me, I would not be the man I am today. Through the patience, love, and mercy the Lord has shown through His family, I have become a man of integrity...a man of God. Proverbs 25:4, "Take away the dross from the silver, and there shall come forth a vessel for the finer." It doesn't happen by being alone. It happens by being around people with a common goal...that goal being, to know the living God, and to know what His calling is on your life.

I urge you to consider where your life is today. Of all the things in life that seem so important, for some reason this is one that gets pushed out of the way. This is the single most important decision you will ever make. So my question is...Are you prepared to meet the Lord? Will He say, "Depart from me, I never knew you."  Matt. 7:23 Or will He say "Well done thou good and faithful servant."  Matt. 25:21

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