HAVE YOU
EVER FELT REJECTED?
(The Janis Damask Story)
By: Janis Damask
I grew up almost as an only child. I was the youngest of six children but
the sibling, my brother, who was the closest in age to me was seven years older
than myself. When he turned 15 he joined the army. Later in life I
learned that my brother lied about his age so that he could leave home. My
father had a lot of pent up anger and he took it out on his sons - three of
them.
There was not much communication in my family. My oldest sister married
when I was only two. Another sister married when I was nine. Many
adults believe that children do not have any value and they themselves are so
wrapped up in their own problems that they can't be bothered with children, even
if they are their own children.
As a young child I wondered what it would be like to go to church. Surly
there must be some answers to life in a church...I thought. After all,
that's where God is. One day I was able to attend a church but when I left
I did not feel any different. I left a disappointed girl. I felt
like I didn't fit in anywhere. Not even in church.
I wanted to attend airline school after graduation and become an airline hostess
so I set up an appointment for the airline representative to meet with my
parents. They informed me that they were not going to give me any money to
go to airline school.
As it turned out the man who came had a used crane to sell (the large commercial
kind with a big scooper). My father paid him for the crane. When it
was delivered it sat on his property and nothing was ever done with it.
I was one of two siblings who graduated from high school but since I had no
direction in my life I met a boy and became pregnant. Soon after
graduation we were married. I was NOT ready for life let alone a marriage!
At one point in our marriage I went back home to ask my parents if my son and I
could come home to live. I just couldn't take it any more and that I
wanted to get a divorce. My mother told me that I made my bed and now I
had to lay in it. I let some of my pent up anger out that night to my
parents and went home. I'm so glad God doesn't push us back to our
problems but helps us through them.
Since I am not a quitter I have given it my best effort and I am still married
to that boy. The child that I was pregnant with turned out to be a son.
He now owns his own business and is doing very well for himself. He and
his wife have two children, our grandchildren. We also had another son; he
is working for Pepsi. He and his wife are doing well also.
Our marriage has not been a bed of roses. Many more thorns than flowers. More
downs than ups. The insecure feelings that I had continued on in our
marriage. My husband defended his family over me many many times leaving
me with a worthless feeling.
I was not raised in a born again Christian family. We did not go to
church. But my mother always made sure that we prayed at every meal.
She did not like anyone swearing and my father swore all the time. I
believe my mother became a born again Christian listening to Oral Roberts on the
radio. But without any further training on my mother's part, she did not
grow as a born again Christian.
To cope with married life I kept myself busy. My first job was a cashier
at a grocery store. Then as a teller at a bank. Feeling independent
I left my husband and moved in with a friend. I found out her morals were
very low and moved back with my husband. We seemed to be working through some
problems in our marriage. Meanwhile, at the bank, I made some minor
mistakes and was asked to leave. More rejection.
Life continued on but my fulfillment was still empty. I wondered why I was
born and what did the future hold. Why do people act they way they do?
Why do people talk about other people all the time? Why do I feel so
rejected by people? Especially my husband. I determined to never judge
another person by what someone else said about them. I had been judged
wrongly and I didn't want to do that to other people. But because of the
rejection in my own life, I found it very difficult to trust people. I
just knew that sooner or later they were going to turn on me.
On a whim, while shopping one time, I bought the living Bible. My husband
was away on a hunting trip and I was alone. So I picked up the Bible and
took it to bed with me. I began to ask God questions. After each
question I would open the Bible to another page and there would be my answer.
I don't recommend this way to get answers but God used that way to peek my
interest in Him. Through many tears I kept asking questions and I kept
getting answers.
I remember asking God, "If you are real then show me because I don't
understand anything. Why am I here, I don't want to be here? Is
there life after death? Why do people act the way they do?"
As far as I was concerned, life was a mess and I wanted out.
I started teaching sewing classes in our home and I met a girl named Gail. Gail
was different. Every time Gail and I got together the conversation always ended
up about religion. I remember telling her that I thought God was like a
dictator - telling us what we can and can't do. I believe many people
think that way.
Gail kept asking me to come to a Bible study she went to. So to get her
off my back I finally attended the study. I didn't know genesis from maps
but the women there helped me to find the right place. I liked it and kept
going back each week. Then they asked me to attend a women's Christian
fellowship.
After some time I went. I couldn't believe the speaker. She was
telling my story. They handed out little booklets there. I took it
home and read it. It asked the question if I would like to go to heaven
when I died. Of course the answer was Yes! The booklet gave a prayer
to pray to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I didn't understand it all
but I took the booklet into the bedroom, knelt down, and prayed that simple
prayer. When I finished I felt as though a thousand pound weight had been
lifted off my shoulders. And when it left it was replaced by a feeling of
love. It was the most beautiful love I had ever felt in my life. I
didn't understand it but I seemed to be swimming in love. It felt soooooo
good. I didn't want it to end. I finally knew what love felt like.
I felt accepted. I felt like life was going to be okay.
I continued in the Bible classes and also going to Christian women's luncheons.
I started taking a whole group of women with me to the luncheons. I felt
that I wanted to learn more. Gail took me to a Christian book store.
I was awed by what I saw. Where had this been?! Books telling
real life stories. Books telling the truth. I bought some books and
then I bought lots of books. I gave away books and continued to grow.
One day a woman stopped by, who was a relative of a relative on my husband's
side, to invite me to a spirit filled Bible study she was conducting. I
had only seen her once or twice in my life. Later she told me that she
would pray for me when she drove past our home and felt impressed to stop and
invite me to their Bible study. (God at work again.) I
continued to grow as a Christian and soon discovered Christian television.
I watched Christian TV all the time. Rarely did I watch regular TV
anymore. This went on for at least a year. Bible studies, Bible
reading, and Christian TV. I grew and grew as a believer. When I did
watch regular TV,.I was shocked to see what they were allowing to be aired.
Some of the shows being aired recently is like Sodom and Gomorrah. But
some of the new shows are talking about God and miracles. I feel within my
spirit that a new wave of curiosity is being peeked by many nonbelievers because
of these shows. Television can be good or bad. We must choose.
My first converts were my own two sons. We started going to church - my two sons
and I. My husband wanted no part of it. A house divided is very
hard. We continued to have marital problems. I began praying for God
to repair our marriage.
I remember laying on the floor and pounding my fist on the floor telling God that
I couldn't take it anymore. Soon after someone approached us about going
on a marriage encounter weekend. I wasn't much for it. I didn't see how
getting away with someone who didn't like me was going to fix a marriage. After
we were approached by another couple we said that we would go. That weekend
did bring some unity back to our marriage. We became a follow-up home.
Couples who had gone on a weekend would come to our home for further training.
I loved it. My life had meaning. I felt as though I was contributing
to life and not just existing. That lasted for two years.
Through some more unusual circumstances I was offered a job at a Christian Book
Store. It was there that I met a man who loaned me a set of tapes explaining
the origin of demons and how they operated. It was another piece to the
puzzle that I was looking for. More questions were answered for me.
Another step for me happened when I became involved in a study on how to pray for
the sick and see results. I became a member of a healing team for the Charles
and Francis Healing Explosions. I saw miracles happen before my eyes.
But there were still so many people who did not get healed and so many people
who were still sick. So my questions to God continued. Why? Why? Why?
Healing took place in my own body but there was still one problem that remained.
According to the doctors I had incurable psoriasis. My prayer had been for
God to heal me. After many years when I didn't see the results my prayer
changed from heal me to show me what I can do. And when I am healed I will
tell everyone.
My husband and I owned a small Laundromat business and I told one of our customers
about my psoriasis. After he saw what it looked like he went on a quest to
find a cure for me. After several attempts to find a solution He brought
me the book, "God's Way to Ultimate Health." I knew that I knew that this
was my answer. I felt it in my spirit. The author told how he cured himself
of colon cancer. The cancer was the size of a baseball. He had watched
his mother die of colon cancer and he didn't want to die the way his mother did.
So he sought out a friend of his who told him to use certain nutrition and
change some of his lifestyle. He did and within a year his cancer was gone
along with all the other ailments he had. My husband and I both went on
the program. To date, almost every ailment I had is gone and the ailments
that my husband had are also gone.
My husband had: above normal cholesterol, a very bad snoring problem which was gone within three days, he had restless leg syndrome (could not sleep because of it), he lost 70 pounds, he had acid stomach, hemorrhoids of several years, varicose veins vanished and his lose and bleeding gums are healed.
I had:
A snoring problem that stopped in three days, my sinus problems are gone, Bursitis
in my left knee gone, stiff neck and joints gone, pms gone, headaches gone,
above normal cholesterol and blood pressure are now normal; I lost 45 pounds
going from a 16-18 to a size 11-12. I used to get sore throats, colds and
the flu all the time; I was depressed all the time and I have even noticed some
age spots are gone.
The psoriasis seems to be the last one to go. In listening to a doctor he stated
that in most cases we will heal in reverse as to the time we acquired the
problem. And since I had the psoriasis first it will be the last to go.
I have learned so much about how this beautiful body works. God never meant
for our bodies to fall apart. He gave us an immune system. But,
because of our eating habits in America, we are destroying our own immune
systems. Out of 69 countries America came in 69th healthwise. God
has shown us and many others why this is happening. I pray that many will
be open to the truth of health. We are spirit, soul and body. We
must take responsibility for our temple (the body).
I had prayed for years that my husband and I could be in a ministry together. Since
he was not a believer, I thought that would be a prayer that couldn't be
answered. But we are now conducting health classes and health seminars together.
I have learned to believe in prayer and God no matter how it appears to me. Dick
is now going to church with me. Another answered prayer.
When we conduct our classes those who listen and are ready to take responsibility
for their health reap many benefits. And there are also those who won't
listen and will die prematurely in their choices. It hurts us to see that
but that is why God gave us a will. We have choices. The Bible
states that he has put before us Life and Death. We must choose Life.
And He also states that we "perish" for a lack of knowledge.
Perish means to die before our time. I do NOT want to die before my time. God
has given us a message to get out to thousands. The message is, "You
Don't Have to be Sick!."
Is my life perfect? No. But it is much better than it used to be.
I am learning that I am a special person in God's eyes. God, in His word, says that
I am. If He said it then it is so.
My prayer is that God will send those people to us that need the gospel message
as well as the health message.
I have found meaning to life. God is good! He has a plan for
everyone!
Thank you and God bless you for taking the time to read my testimony. I
pray that it has helped encourage you in some way. If you would like to talk with me about anything I've shared, please
don't hesitate to contact me. I can be reached at goodnews72743@yahoo.com.
Janis Damask
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