Jesus Did It!

(By: Sherri H)

I grew up in a small village in Northern Ontario, Canada. My parents were young, having gotten married at age 19 and 20. My mother was the eldest of 13 kids and as such had been a mini mom her whole life. She got pregnant at 17 and had my sister. She met my dad when she was 19 years old and 3 months later was married and pregnant with me.

My father ruled the house and was not known for being fair, or in many cases right. If there was trouble in our home, chances were good I was the cause of it. This is why I was the one who ended up over my dad's knee getting a whooping with the 'paddle' in what seemed an almost daily occurrence. The unfortunate part is that many, many times I took that licking for something I didn't do. Anything went wrong it was automatically my fault. My poor sister still feels horrible guilt and shame that she allowed this to happen as I took almost all her paddling's for her. I have to smile because on the rare occasions she did get a licking, I felt sorry for her because she just wasn't tough and used to it like me.

So due to this constantly being punished for being wrong regardless of whether I was or not (and also not believed or in many cases, not even given a chance to state my case) was a monstrously huge blow to my self-esteem. If something went wrong, got stolen, got broken, I would start blushing and stammering and feeling guilty even if I hadn't been anywhere near the place. I still struggle with this at times today.

My father made no bones about being disappointed that I wasn't a boy. He also had a mantra of 'why can't you be more like your sister' that was drummed into me from my earliest memories. Up until the age of 11 I tried my little heart out to be good, to be better, to be 'more like my sister'. Then one Christmas Eve that all changed.

My parents were drinkers. It was normal for them to drink a few beers or a few glasses of wine daily, drink heavily at parties, and to host parties at our little house (Photo above).   Well every Christmas was cause for celebration and out came the booze. Us kids were always given a tiny shot of cherry brandy which knocked us off our pins once every holiday.

Anyways, this particular Christmas eve we went down the road, not too too far, to my Aunt and Uncle's house. I don't recall too much about it except on the way home my Dad was purposefully zigzagging the car, drunk as a skunk, making us all scream. Now I have to say my parents scared me when they were drunk. When we got home, my mother headed straight off to bed and passed out. My father was in a mood, as his earlier driving had shown and I was scared and wanted to hide. The only door with a lock in our entire little house, was the bathroom, so I figured I'd head there. Well I guess panic set in and I went too fast, or maybe I ran'I don't recall. What I do know is that it was like waving a red flag to a bull.

Next thing I knew I was being chased and I did actually make it but I couldn't get the door closed fast enough. I got tackled and the next thing I knew my drunk, laughing, slobbering father was on top of me. Now what happened next is how an 11-year-old girl experienced it. I couldn't move, he had pinned me underneath him which was utterly horrifying in and of itself. Well he was having a grand old time, thinking it was funny and started to slobber kisses up and down my neck and cheek (I'd turned my head to avoid him kissing my mouth).

Well I had my first full blown panic attack and started screaming in absolute terror. He started nibbling on my earlobes and put his tongue in my ear, all the while laughing. My sister came in and she yelled, 'he's just joking Sherri!!!', but to me it was as serious as a heart attack. I was screaming for him to get off, get off, get off and he only laughed, and completely ignored me. Well my sister saw how panicked I was and started yelling at him to 'stop, you're scaring her dad!!' After several tries, she saw he just didn't hear her (or me) so she finally (she is my HERO OF ALL TIME FOR THIS) grabbed him by the hair and smacked his head off the sink (I kid you not!) and next thing I knew I was free.

I cried myself to sleep that night hidden under the blankets and the next day, like any hurt 11-year-old, I acted out my emotions, sitting there pouting and cross while we opened gifts. To my shock, I was completely ignored. That hurt more than anything. It was like I was invisible. Something changed in my heart and mind that day. I decided that I was no longer going to try for these people. They thought I was bad? Well they didn't see anything yet!!

Soon after I started smoking, drinking and by age 13, I incorporated smoking pot into my repertoire. I stole, I lied, my grades fell to subpar. When my parents divorced in my 13th year, I went wild. I went with my mother and she, being free for the first time in her life, pursued her own life. She worked as a bartender and so I was free to do as I pleased every night. And I did just that.

We'd moved in with a 63-year-old widow whom I quickly called Gram and loved dearly. Gram reminded me of a little dormouse, always bundled up trying to get warm---she'd even knitted 'knee covers' for her knees! During this year I got mono and ended up very sick for a few months. I also got a bad flu/cold on top of that and then had a severe allergic reaction to penicillin. I was SO sick. I remember Gram whipping off my shirt and slathering me up and down with Vicks Vaporub while I tried smacking her hands away. She laughed and told me I didn't have anything she hadn't seen before. She was a no nonsense woman that spoiled me terribly. That winter I asked her what kind of a birthday party she wanted that coming summer and she told me, 'I don't think I'll be around for that'. Well a few months later we got a phone call that Gram had stroked in the strawberry patch and was in the hospital. A few days later she died.

My heart was broken into pieces. It was shattered when I heard that her son in law was telling everyone it was my fault she'd died. That my wild and crazy behavior and my being sick, was too much for her to handle. I couldn't help wondering if that might be true.

A year later at age 15, I was caught stealing. My dad took me to court and afterwards, stopped and got me the puppy I had wanted my whole life, but didn't want now. He hadn't asked my mom if it was ok, just dropped me home with this little lab puppy. I was pretty far gone into partying by then (by his reasoning I would 'settle down' now that I had a puppy to care for) and most days I'd leave that poor pup up in my room by itself. I honestly don't know how long I'd had it, it was summer and it was a blur of parties, alcohol and stupidity (I punched a gas pump while drunk, 22 stitches. The rumor in our village was that I'd tried to commit suicide'), but one day I came home and the puppy was gone. My dad had picked it up. Well I was sooooo relieved. I'd felt terrible guilt leaving it but not enough to stay with it. I was a very selfish teen.

A week or so after my dad took the puppy back, he called to tell me that he'd given the puppy to his then girlfriend Janet. I was so happy! She had kids, it'd be a great home for the pup. Then my dad says (almost in a rehearsed manner, conversational like) but that didn't work out because the pup was too noisy, so he brought it home to his apartment. Well, my dad went on to say, his landlord had informed him that there was a no dog policy there, so he had had no choice but to kill it.

At this point, I was already crying. Over my tears I heard him calmly say, 'So I put it into a garbage bag and ran over it a few times with my car'. I remember shrieking that he was the insane one, that he should be the one seeing a shrink, not me (they had me seeing a psychologist at that time), then hanging up on him. I was DEVASTATED to the core of my being.

My mother and her new boyfriend were sitting on the floor of the empty living room watching me (he was in the process of moving in). My mom was fed up with me at this point due to my bad behavior and so there was zero sympathy there. I remember her coldly looking at me, totally unavailable emotionally while I was literally, LITERALLY dying inside. I felt completely abandoned. I didn't talk to my dad again for about 5 years and a serious schism now formed between me and my mother.


That day a part of me died and I had the spirit of hate move in and take up residence. My wild lifestyle ratcheted up to a whole new level and I remember not caring anymore if I lived or died. I actually HOPED I'd die, because wouldn't that be the perfect answer to my life? Suicide was never an option but accidental death? Sure, why not? Bring it on. The guilt and pain I felt was almost to the point of being unbearable. I was filled with self-loathing, hatred and hopelessness and felt it smothering me.

I left that day and found myself at an Indian convention way up north near Wawa, partying for 2 weeks. It was during this time that I lost my virginity, in the dirt, in the rain, under a picnic table. This is a pretty apt picture of what level my self-worth was at. I went on to stay with that boy for a full year, during which my self-esteem was beaten into the ground via a series of unfortunate events involving cheating, drunken rages, and more.

I never really tried in school. I would hang out in the smoking section (yep they had those back then) with the 'rockers'. They were the kids who smoked, smoked dope, skipped all the time, had zero goals and even less expectations of you. I liked them a lot, they accepted people as they were. At age 17 I ended up with a guy 6 years older than me. For 2 years I was with him and it was much the same as my first relationship.

I muddled through high school absolutely hating it and learning very little. When I got the form for grad pictures, I promptly dropped out with only 3 credits to go. I remember very clearly thinking, 'Someone like ME graduate? Pffffffffft no.'

I met my future husband in a bar when I was 20 years old and found myself pregnant at the age of 21. My daughter was such a blessing! I knew what all-consuming love was the moment they put her into my arms. I knew I would do anything for her, that I'd do anything to protect her, that I would literally kill anyone who hurt her. Ok, maybe it was a crazy kind of love!! But there is nothing like a mother's love I found out.

A week or so after she was born, she was inside our teenie little apartment crying and I was out on the steps crying. I was far removed from all family, my then boyfriend (future husband) would take off for hours and I would be left alone in our apartment with no phone, just me and the baby. Well that day while we were both having meltdowns, I realized I had a MASSIVE responsibility. That this little baby was depending on ME to teach her what was right and what was wrong. I had to teach her to be a good person and I realized I wasn't one and I had to learn. I also knew quite clearly that I couldn't just walk away and give up, like I had with every other thing in my life. That at the very least, she was mine to raise for 18 long years.

So I started to change. For her. I started reading parenting books and magazines, I got a library of children's books, I educated myself and went by the book raising her. I had my beautiful and somewhat furry son 2 years later. We moved to a townhouse complex when my daughter was 3 and my son was 1 and stayed there for 3 years.

Here I met Laurie. She was a woman a few years older than me who had 3 girls, the eldest of which was dying of leukemia. Laurie was the first born again Christian I'd ever met and was so full of peace, I couldn't understand it. Her daughter was dying but she was peaceful about it. The peace in her eyes was something I would think about many, many times in the future. They'd been smoking/drinking/partying bikers and Jesus healed them overnight. At the time I was super skeptical and thought she was exaggerating.

I'd decided a good parent goes to church so I started searching for the right one. I went to Laurie's home church to see what they believed in. Well the Lord wasn't ready for me to get the message yet because all I recall is them saying a child is born in sin. To me, that was unfathomable and ridiculous so I never went back, however I did send my daughter to participate as she played with their children. Also during this time I had a very nice Jehovah's Witness visit me and tell me about her religion. The 144,000 going to heaven sent off alarm bells so I decided it was not for me either.

While living at the townhouse complex, I had a best friend. The cement of our friendship was to sit over tea and talk about everyone else. If someone had a fault, we'd find it, talk about it, etc. Well when I moved away after the 3rd year, she told EVERYONE everything I'd ever said. So I received screeching phone calls, got doors slammed in my face and like a magician, disappeared our entire social circle in one fell swoop. My first instinct was to tell these people that hey! SHE said just as bad/mean things!! My husband stepped in and said, leave it, it's done. If you do that, then you're just as bad as she is. Just stop. I have to interject here that I am FOREVER grateful to this woman for what she did because she ended up doing me a great favour by exposing me as I was. Some people go through their entire lives never seeing their true (ugly) self so they can never fix things or change. I'm triply grateful to my husband for stepping in and stopping me from making a bigger fool of myself.

Now that was HARD. Not defending myself was difficult but the much more excruciating part was looking in the mirror. My mask had been ripped off. I saw myself for the small minded, gossipy, mean person that I was. I was stripped bare and I hated what I saw. I finally faced that I COULD NOT BE WRONG. It was unacceptable. I would fight tooth and nail and stand my ground, even if a mountain of new information poured in to prove me wrong. If I DID admit I was wrong then I would be admitting I was stupid, a moron, a dummy. I knew this had to change.

So that year, on that farm we'd moved to (yep City Mouse to Country Mouse), I began my 'year of redemption'. I volunteered at Sparks (lowest level of Girl Guides) and did amazing things. By the time I left a year later, their bank account was up hundreds of dollars, the empty craft room was filled to the brim, we had a couple of parade trophy's (I single handedly put together a float'I kid you not. Forget Redbull, redemption/shame gives you wings!), and more kids were joining every day. I also took that year to read the bible.

Well after I read the bible, not gonna lie, I hated God. It did nothing for me at all but made me think God was a homicidal maniac going around condoning mass killings. When God gives you eyes to see, you'll see, if He doesn't, you won't. At that time He didn't so I didn't. So when we moved, despite thinking all this, I still made my family go to church a total of 3 times in a row. The fourth Sunday I told everyone to go back to bed. It wasn't doing anything for me and I just couldn't do it. I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to hell and hit the couch, totally depressed.

This depression lasted a good few months. I was still smarting from losing all our friends and then I find out that my former gossip buddy had lost all the weight she'd been battling for years. I was still smoking like a chimney, which was my huge obstacle. So she was winning and I was still failing. An old friend called me and kept at me about going to college, when I wasn't amenable she got an attitude and we stopped talking, no longer having any common ground.

At Christmas that year, my father gave me a book called 'The Witch In Every Woman' thinking it was funny if you changed the W to a B. At that time I would cheerfully call myself a B and be quite proud of it (like SO many women are conditioned to think today), so it wasn't offensive to me. I shelved the book and still felt depressed.

I had the kids all dressed up in their holiday finery when my mom and stepdad came to visit. I asked her, 'Well Nana, what do you think of your grandchildren now?' Her reply completely floored me. 'Well I'm surprised they turned out with all the drugs you've done'. When she left I became so depressed it was all I could do to get dressed each day and pick the kids up from school. I wanted to die and prayed a plane would crash into just my apartment, to just take me out of this misery. Never in my life had I been brought so low. I felt like a complete and utter failure.

Well no plane came'Instead a show popped up on TV and it was Shirley MacLaine, saying she hadn't lived until she was 40 years old. I jumped up thinking, YES and went to the library to get her book. That book took me straight into almost 20 years of new age. I went from sneaking around reading about things like tarot cards to actually using them. I took courses on chakras, tarot cards, tea leaves, went to meditation, saw psychics, etc, etc. I dug out the book my dad had given me and found myself feeling naughty doing my first spell.

I made spirit boards, celebrated solstice's, burnt sage, collected spells, did spells, made a huge circle on my craft room floor of all the most ancient wiccan holidays with the four directions marked out precisely, did yoga regularly and on and on. I read so many books they'd be impossible to list. I experienced many strange things over those years like during a chakra meditation a 'spirit' standing behind me, or a circle of meditating women who caused the room to warm up then cool down, or 'zapping' a woman with the energy in a healing circle (just to see if it was possible). These odd things kept me interested and engaged and believing in all of these things.

That summer I decided to tell my mother exactly how much her words had hurt me, so maybe she could understand and not do it again in the future. I prayed to God before I sat down to please come into this conversation. So sitting across from her, outside in the sunshine, I told her about how hurt I'd been, and how depressed it made me, etc. Her reply was, 'Well I've always wondered how your kids turned out normal' Well clear as a bell I heard, 'You can choose to be hurt again or you can understand that she genuinely has NO clue'. I saw that nope, she just didn't understand and that I didn't NEED her to get it. So I patted her on the shoulder and asked what she was growing in her garden this year. I literally felt a massive weight lifted off of me that day. The power of forgiveness in action!

In order to fully experience spirituality in the pagan world, you have to 'let go'. Well I was always far too stubborn to do that, thank the Lord. Anytime I felt a presence (that prickly feeling that someone is standing behind you or near you) I would snap right out of my meditation or snap to attention, 'ruining' the moment.

After about a decade into all of this, I wanted to go to workshops to 'expand my consciousness'. I remember wanting SO bad to meet a wise person to guide me. Like a guru or wise old man or old crone figure to teach me all they knew. I found out that all professed wise people also have HUGE price tags attached. I quickly became disillusioned and finally wrote to one such person, whose books I had read and whom I held in great esteem. I asked her why her weekend of teaching was $700 and didn't even include rooms or food. Her answer was on the snarky side (which shocked me greatly) saying that she 'had called the universe to supply her with money and it wasn't HER fault I hadn't managed to do the same. Maybe I should visualize having wealth harder then I could afford to go to her event.'

The new age movement is very very sly and sneaky. It's all YOUR fault if you don't have everything you want. It's all YOUR fault if you get hurt, your house burns down, your husband leaves you or whatever, all because of karma. In a past life, they'd say, YOU burned down someone's house so now you're paying that karmic debt. In a past life YOU left your husband, so pay up. So if someone, heaven forbid, get's raped, injured, or dies, the new ager can turn around and say without sympathy, that it's just karma, maybe they'll get it right in the next life. Another way they explain your terrible luck is that you're attracting these things due to YOUR intentions. Your thoughts are creating your reality so just stop being so negative!

I knew God was real, I mean anyone with eyes can see there's intelligent design in everything, everywhere. My conundrum was 'What God'? Was it this man/woman God? Was it the universe? Was God in everything like pantheism? Was it the bible God? Well the answer I made up, yes I just made it up because that's ok in the new age. I was so arrogant I patchworked together my beliefs made up of things that made sense to me intellectually and called it the 'truth'. So I prayed to 'God/goddess/great spirit/all' so I would get the 'right' God. I did this for years.

I decided God was in everything, so in a sense all things were sacred. I thought all path's lead to God, and that all people go to the same place when they die: heaven. I believed you could do ANYTHING you wanted and still go to heaven. My credo was 'Do what thou wilt, but it hurt none' and I had NO idea that was that the first part of this saying was created by Aleister Crowley the 'wickedest man alive' and a huge satanist. I believed the devil was a myth and only weak minded people believed in that or hell. I believed the church created satan to scare the masses into the church. I believed the movie zeitgeist which said Jesus Christ was just a carbon copy of Horus and every other sun god. But worst of all, not only did I believe these things, I also taught everyone I knew the same things. When a person WANTS to believe something so bad, they won't look too closely at it for fear of seeing it's wrong. It would have taken under 5 minutes to disprove most of what I believed if I'd bothered to look.

We were in a minor car accident about 13 years ago and I ended up on a pain patch. That patch changed me. I lost all my creativity, all of my motivation and it changed my personality. When I wasn't working I was online playing a game. I lived and breathed this game for 3 years. The people I met online were my social life and I remember thinking, 'I could totally live the rest of my life in a small apartment, just need enough food to get by, enough money to live and I'd be fine'. No thoughts of my family at all, just pure selfishness.

It all came to a head one day when my husband walked in out of the blue and said he'd had enough. I was startled. That was a reality check. As much as I mused about living alone, just playing my game, I saw that the last thing in the world I wanted was to lose my husband. I'd become aware about 6 months before that this patch had changed me and had planned to wean off of it but had never had the push to do so. Well this was the push and although it took a few months, I slowly eased off of it.

That first day patch free in years, I realized I hadn't prayed in a looooonng time. I just looked up at the ceiling and flippantly said, 'What now God?' Well'little did I know that two second prayer would change my life forever!

The next day I woke up and instead of jumping on my game and wasting 8 hours playing, I instead found myself Googling 'laws since 9/11'. NO idea why I did this, but the next thing I knew I was falling down a never ending rabbit hole. I reeled in shock at the new laws in place that took away ALL rights of citizens of the States in an emergency situation, all food, all water, all buildings, EVERYTHING. Next I came across an article on Canada's former Minister of Defense talking about the USA disclosing their UFO files, like the rest of the world. WHAT? So I found myself reading all these formerly classified documents on government websites.

That made me think of all those people who claimed to have had abduction experiences. So I started looking them up and was totally freaked out. They were taken against their will and BAD BAD things were done to them. How could any of us protect ourselves from that?? I looked up how to stop an alien abduction and that was the first time the name 'Jesus Christ' came up. I scowled and rolled my eyes and ignored it. As a new ager I firmly believed Christianity was dead.

From there I looked at the Disclosure Project and watched the director try to claim 'aliens are friendly'. I had just read all kinds of abductions where people were probed and poked and experimented on, so I had high doubts about this claim. It made me wonder about the whole purpose of this project and why 5 star Generals and high ranking officials were suddenly coming out with this information and why world governments were releasing these files and why these officials who had publically shamed people claiming to have these experiences a couple decades ago were now saying, oh, our bad, they weren't crazy tin foil hat wearing kookoo's after all! We lied, it's ok now!

I believe the next thing I came across was a video about worldwide weather and mass animal deaths. I was startled as it reminded me of Revelation 8:9

I learned about Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones, all these old boys clubs that seemed to be based on very dark paganism. I was really shocked to see how many people were throwing up the horns, the 'Mano Cornuto', the supposed 'rock on' sign. For my generation it's supposed to mean rock on, but when you see really old political figures (in ALL countries) doing it and all of the higher echelon of society who run this world, you have to take notice. This hand sign is actually a curse or a show of allegiance to Satan, the 'devil horns'. The pope doing a double handed one was an eye opener that made me look up the Catholic Church and I was staggered by the fact that they were just as pagan as me! They also changed God's top 10, which even I, as a new ager, knew was a huge no no. I saw that the statues they worshiped were the same ancient Roman/Greek god's/goddesses that had been bowed to since the beginning of time just renamed after bible people.

This led me to a search on ancient statues/architecture of the world and I saw that MILLIONS of dollars (or perhaps billions?) had been spent on keeping all of these ancient god/goddess statues on every continent as art. Keeping them alive in a sense. Here's a great video series on 'Illuminati' architecture worldwide. (  This led to learning about Freemasons, the Shriner's, Knight's of Columbus, the UN, the Bilderbergers, the Council on Foreign Relations, the world banks and on and on. I saw how we have been corralled into using banks, that you can't get work without a bank account, you can't pay your bills without a bank account, etc. My head was exploding with so much information and once again, the book of Revelation popped into my mind and the buy/sell mark of the beast. Revelation 13:16-18

I learned about symbols and their meanings, which blew me away. Our world is inundated with 'signs' and most of us are completely oblivious of their actual meaning. One remark I recall stumbling on was something along these lines: 'Even the meanest, most illiterate peasant from a few hundred years ago would run shrieking in horror at all of the overt satanic symbols that permeate every aspect of our world today. We are all completely oblivious to any of these signs/symbols yet arrogantly proclaim we are smarter than our gullible ancestors.'

I learned about the MK Ultra mind control program, about governments secretly testing all manner of drugs, biological agents, etc. on their people. I learned about HAARP, and Monsanto and the genetically modified foods that I'd been eating unaware for years. I learned about false flag operations, saw faked TV footage of actors pretending they were under attack which made me question the honesty of the news I'd naively trusted all my life. I learned about chemtrails and almost drove right off the road when I first saw them. Ironically I'd always fancied myself a cloud watcher and honest to goodness have NO idea how I didn't notice these trails crisscrossing the sky before that moment. I learned that yoga is actually a religion and it means 'to yoke' with a god or goddess. We see it as a benign exercise but there's SO much more to it that we aren't taught.

I learned that the Olympics was extremely pagan in origin and that the lighting of the torch ceremony looked pretty similar to witchcraft/spell casting to me. I saw that the Olympic ceremonies were very dark and filled with all sorts of pagan imagery. The 'biggest crunch' biting of the apple ceremony for the paralympics blew me away. It was supposedly to honor Newton and the apple falling on his head. Combined with the rest of the opening ceremony, I felt it actually related to Adam and Eve, the garden of Eden and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. (Genesis 2:17)

I found out that the top 6 news networks are all owned by the elite, the wealthy men who also own Hollywood, who also own the banks, who also own the world as a result of these things. I began to look at everything with a jaded eye, no longer trusting anything and questioning everything. I saw that I had been led emotionally to believe a great many things based on what the newspaper said or a TV program said or after I'd watched a great movie. If something on the TV makes you react in a BIG emotional way, step away and pray about it. Chances are great you're being led a certain way so the enemy can bring in a new law or churn up hatred and fear or sympathy for the devil. Literally, I started watching dystopian movies as many old movies showed a future that was already happening. So by my reasoning, they'd still be doing that today. The first thing I noticed was their use of Jesus's name as a curse word. I was startled to see them using it more than the F bomb. They also used God's name a lot and pretty much trampled it. I'd never even noticed this in movies before? Now it stood out, so obviously. You have to understand, I had used Jesus's name as a curse word for my whole life as I'd been raised hearing it, just as my kids were raised hearing it. But suddenly it grated on my senses and I was wondering why all movies were doing this? Why were they bothering? It was like they had a beef against ' Jesus?? It just made no sense to me at that time.

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I came across an amazing video: Hollywood Unmasked -  The host quoted the bible a lot and I wasn't liking that much but his delivery was so calm, well-spoken and matter of fact that I watched. What that video showed me was the Christian view of Hollywood and how TV and movies have guided the morals and values of the people watching. That show made me start thinking about evil, something paganism/the new age tends to ignore.

I saw that they'd tainted our food, our water, our air, were vaccinating people whether they liked it or not, our kids were forced into their schools, taught what they wanted, shown movies that looked good on the surface but were rotten beneath, that 'aliens' existed and could show up anytime and start nabbing people from their beds while they sleep, that the people in charge could care less about any of us and that that was why everything caused cancer and why a cure would never ever be found. That cancer was one of the biggest booming businesses on the planet. And Agenda 21 was a real government document. Our world was insane!

I came across celebrities who admitted that they sold their soul for fame and or had 'altar ego's' (in the new age it's called 'channeling'). I was shocked. Those cute popular pop songs they played on the radio a zillion times a day had seriously messed up video's that had nothing to do with the lyrics.

All of these musicians seemed to be promoting satanic or dark occult themes in their video's as were many of these annual awards ceremonies. One video of a very popular singer, who also hosts a family friendly prime time show, features him and a girl making whoopee all covered in blood in an abattoir (where they butcher animals). I've found that Hollywood creates an innocent/family friendly persona for TV but online, it seems that bloody, evil, and satanic themes are frequently 'normal'. So 2 images are created and unwittingly, people believe they are 'good' people never realizing they are the equivalent of an iceberg---you can only see the tiniest bit on top, but the fullness of who they are and what they promote, is beneath the water. It seemed like every artist, mocked Jesus and the cross in some way, shape or form at some time. I was beginning to realize there WAS an obvious vendetta against Jesus Christ.

At this point I was just terrified at everything I'd learned. I felt like a huge invisible net was already over the entire earth and that everything was in place where we'd never have a chance if the powers that be decided to take over. For 2 LONG weeks I literally felt like my flight/fight reaction was in full blown freak out mode and wondered how long a person could live on this high alert? I felt so hopeless. There was nothing we could do to protect ourselves. I honest to goodness thought I was going to keel over from heart failure.

I'm sure the Lord was getting impatient with me waffling because the next bit of information I ingested was the final push. I learned about chimera's, how scientists were trying to determine 'how much human is human' when it comes to blending DNA from animals with human DNA. The spider silk goat (  tipped my barrel fully over. A goat whose milk expressed spider silk that was stronger than Kevlar. I was shocked. This was GOD's CREATION they were twisting!! I knew that moment, that second that the DEVIL WAS REAL, that he was alive and well and in full force on earth. I knew it without a doubt like I knew the sky is blue and the grass is green. I knew in the exact same moment that JESUS CHRIST WAS REAL, that the bible was the TRUTH. I hit my knees for the first time in my entire life and started bawling like a baby.

Words cannot do justice to what happened to me. It was the single most momentous moment of my entire existence. I was changed SO FAST and so dramatically, it's mind boggling. It still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

I felt waves of horror and shame ooze down me in a stark freezing cold slide of emotion. That feeling when you're WRONG was amplified x 1000 and I was absolutely undone as I saw who I was, what I was, what I'd done, and what I'd believed. For 3 days I cried my heart out and begged for forgiveness. The worst thing was using Jesus's name as a curse word and mocking my mother's Christian beliefs. I cried and cried and cried. I also hid it. I became glaringly aware that I was living with people who might not like me anymore. I knew I was changed, everything I knew was flipped upside-down and inside out, and things I could have SWORN were good, I now recoiled in horror from and visa versa. I couldn't believe how BLIND I'd been. I was a completely different person. Inside and out.

LITERALLY the scales fell from my eyes. I could NOT see before God allowed me to. I knew I had to get a bible and start reading it. My mom gave me an old KJV her Nana had given to her when she was 12. It was a completely different experience reading it from the last time. I loved it. It makes a HUGE difference when you know without a doubt it's the truth and God gives you eyes to see and ears to hear.

Forever a coward, I hid that I was reading the bible as I believed it would be viewed negatively by my family. I stopped cussing like a sailor although I have still have rare lapses, my HUGE temper outbursts are almost nonexistent when prior they were daily, my whole demeanor is different, I'm kinder, more prone to laughter and a million times more patient. The first time my daughter visited after I was saved she said that I was 'glowing'.

I took all my tarot cards, my books, my runes, my herbs, my candles, my hand carved magic wands, clothing, pictures, etc. Everything satanic went out to be burned. Even though my husband had no idea what was happening to me, he knew that I wanted that witches circle I'd painted in the back room covered over and he immediately painted it for me.

I burned a few thousand dollars worth of items I'd acquired over 15 years or so. I knew I could have sold it all for $500 or more and we were struggling financially, but I found myself tossing it all into the fire. I could not ethically and morally put it back into the world.

Very shortly after my transformation, my daughter called me to tell me an old man had approached her at work and told her about a dream she'd had and was bang on. She gave him her number and he was going to discuss dreams with her. Now, as I mentioned earlier, I was always on the lookout for a 'wise man/woman' to teach me and prior to Jesus saving me, I would have been all, 'wow, this is AWESOME, go see what he says' (I kid you not, I totally would have'). When I got upset and told her not to call him she asked me what was wrong with me. I mumbled something about evil and Jesus and she said in a cool tone, 'If you think you're talking to me about God and Jesus, then I'm never talking to you again'. I was crushed and I knew I deserved it. After all, I was the one who had raised her that way.

I'd always thought I was so open minded and tolerant. I was of everything BUT Christianity and Jesus Christ. Every other belief system is tolerated in the new age EXCEPT Christianity. Jesus is either devalued as 'just another wise man' or thrown under the bus as a myth that didn't exist. I had honestly thought I'd raised my kids amazingly well and now saw so many faults I was cringing in shame.

A few days later, my daughter called me again. She was having horrifying nightmares. She actually claimed to see a 'thing' in her room, she felt it'd been circling her bed while she slept. She was absolutely terrified. This went on every night for about a month and she started sleeping with all the lights on. At times she felt like she was being tugged off the bed. In retrospect I feel that that old man sent these things when she refused to answer his calls.

I suggested all the common remedies, warm milk, don't exercise before bed, watch what shows you're watching, play nice music, take a hot bath, try sleepy tea, try reading and on and on. Nothing seemed to work. She became afraid to go to sleep and I honestly thought she was going insane. Schizophrenia had reared its ugly head in our genetic line before and I was crushed, thinking she was going mad. I was on the verge of suggesting she see a psychiatrist and go on medication, when it happened to ME.

I started having the craziest, most surreal nightmares I'd ever had in my life (they actual seemed realer than real life). Words CANNOT do justice to this but I'll try. I started waking up feeling something was in the room or just leaving the room and a thick, syrupy evil feeling that permeated the air. The nightmares I was having were the worst, heart thumping, realistic, crazy ones I'd ever had in my entire life. I'd be in that almost asleep state and 'feel' a face right up to mine breathing on me and think, wow, my husband is awfully (uncomfortably) close, only to open my eyes and nothing was there. I 'felt' that whatever it was had been inhaling my exhales. One time I opened my eyes after a particularly horrible night terror and saw the face of a 'grey alien' hovering in the air over my face and it was sucked out the window, getting progressively smaller until it disappeared. It stayed in my field of vision for at least 4-5 seconds. I was dumbfounded.

That's when it finally dawned on me that this was the spiritual battle referred to in Ephesians and that I was dealing with demons. So I started rebuking in the name of Jesus Christ and guess what? Stopped INSTANTLY. So I told my daughter and she did the same and they stopped. Even with this solid evidence (which she used many many times) she still refuses to come to Jesus, she wants to have 'fun' and enjoy life. So anyone out there reading this, please pray for the younger generation. They are Satan's biggest prey and he's winning. She now calls me in the middle of the night to 'Pray this thing away please' because using Jesus's name no longer works for her. I do and it does.

I have to be honest, if I hadn't experienced that myself I would never have believed it. My daughter would be on some crazy mind altering med's and probably be half insane by now. So thank you Jesus!! Amen!


I fully believe the path to hell will be paved with 'cool' people. People would rather do cool things, act cool, be thought of as cool people rather than even consider 'boring' Christianity. They have NO idea what they're missing out on. The truth, the Word, and Jesus Christ have made my life a thousand times FULLER than it ever was. As another Precious Testimony person said (paraphrasing here), 'We all have a God sized hole in our heart and you can toss cars, money, trips, and things in there, but only Jesus Christ will fill it and make you complete'. Now THAT is the truth.

We ARE in a spiritual battle. People need to put on the full armor of God. WE ARE IN A DEAD SERIOUS FIGHT FOR OUR VERY SOULS. (Ephesians 6:10-18) I cannot stress this enough. My heart breaks every day seeing the world sleeping, everyone is ASLEEP. I pray every single day for everyone around me to have their eyes opened, to see the truth, to hear the truth, to know the truth. God help us all.

I still continued to smoke after being saved for about 4 months. My husband would always say, 'We have to quit' and the quitting day would come, we'd go without for an hour or two and I'd give in. We'd done this little song and dance for going on 20 years and had it down to an art form. So it was always MY fault that we kept smoking. Well right after Christmas he says, 'We're quitting on the 27th', I said 'ok' and the day came and one hour went by, then two. By 3 hours, he was antsy and looked at me and said, 'What're you doing??' I looked at him smugly and said, 'Quitting?' By hour 5 he was pacing, hour 7 he was furiously demanding to know what I thought I was doing?? How was I doing it??? I said, well I just pray and the craving goes away. Well the look he gave me! He was NOT impressed ha! 9 hours later I finally took pity on him and sent him to the store to get himself a pack. He quit 4 days later and it was so HARD for him. I had to give him bigtime kudo's because I didn't quit under my own power and he did, so that's pretty commendable!

I didn't have ANY intention of quitting that day. Never even entered my mind that I wanted to quit. I'd been smoking for 20 years and figured I'd quit 'maybe someday'. I smoked compulsively/obsessively. If I ran out, I wouldn't hesitate to smoke butts. I would buy cigarettes before FOOD. I hated visiting people who didn't smoke and avoided them. I couldn't go anywhere without them. Cigarettes OWNED me. I would beg, borrow or steal to get them and I HATED smoking. I hated the smell, I hated my yellow teeth and fingers. I hated how our home smelled, I hated the ashtrays, I hated the coughing, I hated the cost. It didn't calm me down, it didn't de-stress me, it didn't help me in any way or fashion and I couldn't even say I enjoyed the taste because I didn't. But every morning like clockwork, first thing I'd do is light up and it was the last thing I'd do at night. I'd smoke anywhere up to 4-5 smokes an hour (or more) on any given day.

So for me to just up and quit was unimaginable. I woke up that day and it was GONE. Not only was the desire to smoke, but the IDEA of smoking was gone. It felt like I'd never smoked a day in my life. That day I had a few very mild cravings and I prayed them away and they instantly disappeared. I have had the odd craving once in a blue moon, but really it was incredibly easy to walk away.

Last summer my husband had a motorcycle accident and it is an absolute bonafide miracle that he survived. He went down, on the highway going 85 km/h (that's 52.8 mph for you Americans) on his head and tumbled down the highway like a ragdoll. He'd been cut off by a vehicle hauling a camper. They didn't even notice. The man following behind my husband in a car with his two kids, swore they were witnessing a man's last moments on earth. He was astounded when my husband stood up and picked up his bike then asked for a ride. The damages were bad, don't get me wrong, but considering the speed he went down at there HAD to be divine intervention going on there. That accident changed him, changed his eyes. He's calmer, softer, kinder, and nicer.

In the past two years I have done more creatively than I have in the last 20 years, heck, my whole life! My productivity rate has been off the charts. My confidence grows daily as does my self-esteem. I'm not too sure what the future holds, but that's not really for me to worry about now is it? I'm striving to live in faith every day that the Lord will take care of my needs as He knows better than I do what I need. (Matthew 5-7)

I no longer feel divided. Desiring money, fame, fortune, that vacation, envying others, needing people to find me attractive or 'cool', and on and on vs the tug of knowing I shouldn't feel these things. It's gone. It all seems so trite and so small in comparison to the truth. I have downsized my life and plan to continue doing so. My new word is 'ruthless' as I am ridding our live of excesses, of things we just do not need. Our local thrift store is filled with our old stuff now.

My entire life I'd always felt dirty. No matter how clean my clothing, how tidy my hair or how well presented I was, I always felt smeared with dirt. Now, for over two years, I have felt clean for the first time I can remember.

The Lord continues to work in my life as we speak. I'm still a 'work in progress' and have waaaay more things I need to do. It took a full year and a bit for me to lay down my life for Jesus and to say, take it, do whatever YOU want. How stubborn am I and how patient and longsuffering is our Lord?

I have to say THANK YOU to Norm Rasmussen for his video about giving your testimony and how if you're waiting until you're 'finished', then you'll never give it because we're never finished. I had been waffling, waiting until I was 'finished'.

Norm, what you have done for the world is absolutely incredible and hat's off to you and everyone at PT for doing what you do! God Bless you brother and everyone there!!

If you haven't asked already, ask God, 'What now?' He might just surprise you and show you! May the Lord Bless you and yours with the TRUTH, because that is the most important thing we all need to know. EVERYTHING good comes out of that.

God Bless you all,



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