Is This All There
Is To Life?
(The Judy Peel Story)
The gas mask in place, I started breathing an unfamiliar smell. I wondered if I would whirl in dizziness, but I did not. I can only remember the dentist asking me if I could feel anything, and I said "No," for which I was very grateful. There was only once in my childhood that I had gone to the dentist. I must have been about ten years old at the time. Remembering the walk up the long dark stairway in an old building, I came away knowing I never wanted to see another dentist.
Now, I was 24 years old, with fourteen cavities, and I needed two teeth pulled. The laughing gas started to do the (numbing) job, and I could not feel the terrible needle the doctor was sticking into my gum. As he was working in my mouth, I felt very relaxed, calm and able to cope with the dreadful things he was doing.
"Is this all there is?"
All at once, I became aware of a round globe set out in front of me, in total blackness. It was really weird because I could see 'me' on it. I was on my belly, going around this globe! As I approached the top, I could see a point sticking up, like an upside down 'V', and I had to go across it. When I did, it was the most excruciating intense struggle I had ever experienced. I can't say it was painful, I just knew I had to endure it. I felt lonely, knowing I had to go through this alone. I felt as if nothing else mattered, it was hopeless and I wanted to get past it fast. (Ever have dreams where you are running away from something in slow motion, knowing that you were going to get caught? That is how I was feeling, but I did not know what was coming after me!) I felt horrified. Well, I finally got past the sharp point, and started to relax, and again found myself crawling down the other side of the globe on my belly when I heard a voice talking to me out of the darkness! I could not see where it was coming from. It hollered at me almost in a cynical way:
"THIS IS ALL THERE IS, THERE ISN'T ANY MORE!"
"THIS IS ALL THERE IS, THERE ISN'T ANY MORE!"
All the way around the globe, repeatedly, I heard those words,
"THIS IS ALL THERE IS, THERE ISN'T ANY MORE!"
As I approached the other side of the globe, I could see that point again, I knew I had to cross it, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I kept hearing the words,
"THIS IS ALL THERE IS, THERE ISN'T ANY MORE!"
"There is that point at the top of the globe again," I thought. The terror returned!
My thoughts whirled back to when I had been a nursemaid to my mother since the age of seven. She had multiple sclerosis. As a result, an 'abnormal' life was normal for me. A description of 'Saturday fun' was to race down the hallway in the wheelchair that had become my mother's legs. Then, to be the first one at the front door when the laundry came meant you achieved the status of wearing socks without holes in them the following week.
Somehow I felt that my life was such a waste. The wheelchair and socks with holes were so normal for me. Having felt that I was stupid, useless, and there was no future for me was just accepted. I knew I would never amount to anything.
My life was not the way I wanted it to be, but I seemed helpless to change it.
I had looked forward to having a home having a husband who loved me, being secure with lots of money, having a family, and being able to buy clothes from a real store - not the Salvation Army.
But in reality, what I had was an apartment and a husband whom I never saw. I worked to help pay the bills, had two children who spent their time at the babysitter, and I bought my clothes from the Salvation Army or second hand stores.
All I ever wanted was a 'normal' life!
Now there was something out there telling me that
"THIS IS ALL THERE IS?"
'Is this really all there is' to life, I questioned in my mind? There has got to be more! But what if there isn't? What if I end up going round and round on a globe forever, with no meaning? What if I die and that is it? What if there is no purpose to my existence?
The next thing I knew, I had my arms wrapped around the old' dentist hips, and was screaming and crying at the top of my lungs. Can you imagine what he was thinking?
On the way home, I could still feel that point I had crossed and that voice. It kept pounding at me. What if that really is all there is to life? What if I die, and that's it? I am trying my best to be good now, and if there is no purpose for my life why am I wasting my time trying to be good when it is so hard?
I could remember my grandpa told me Heaven and Hell existed, but he never told me what to do to get to heaven. He did say if I was bad, I would go to Hell. If Hell was anything like what I had just experienced, I KNEW I did not want to go there. On the other hand, if there WAS a Heaven, I knew I was not going to make it there.
Having grown up by myself, no one taught me the right things to do. I learned from watching. I was on my own by fourteen years of age, living with a girlfriend and her parents. My mother went to a rest home and our home was disbanded. I had three younger sisters who were farmed out, We did not see a lot of each other.
My father was under so much pressure that he had to get from under the weight of this situation or be crushed.
I thought it was fun to be free. There was no one to watch me; thus engagement at fourteen years of age, driving a car, going where I wanted and seeing whom I wanted was all permitted. Not that I wasn't told by my girlfriend's parents I couldn't do these things, I basically rebelled, and said, 'I'll do what I want.' Because of this, my behavior was not what you would call 'Christian' and from my bringing up, I knew it was called sin. I decided it didn't really matter - that doing whatever I could to survive because of my circumstances was just the way it had to be. I enjoyed life to the fullest, and nothing got in my way. I was so busy trying to live that I had never thought about going to Heaven or Hell until I heard that voice tell me "this is all there is."
Well, I decided to pray about this since my mom and grandpa always prayed. I got on my knees that night and said,
"God, I know I have been a bad person, please forgive me. I want to go to Heaven." (Nothing happened.)
The next night, I prayed again: "God, I'm sorry that I have sinned, please forgive me. I do not want to go to Hell!"
The third night I prayed again; "God, I know I haven't been the kind of person you expect in Heaven, I have done a lot of things that should not have been done, but please forgive me. I do not want to go to Hell. I want to go to Heaven with you!" (Nothing happened.)
The fourth night, I got mad. I said, "OK God, if you're really there you better prove it to me. I don't see you, or hear from you. "How can I believe in a God I don't know?"
Getting up from my knees, I was feeling full of discouragement and very hopeless, resigned to the fact that eternal life was not a reality. I thought everything I had been told as a child must have been imagination by my family.
I figured if there WAS a God out there, He didn't care about me! After all, I pleaded with Him to help me and He didn't. My hope to get to Heaven was gone! I almost had to agree with that voice I had heard, that said, "this is all there is."
The next day I was watching TV when the program was pre-empted. I could only see the picture of some people in India, blowing their horns and snakes coming up out of the baskets. As I waited to hear what was coming, I heard this voice sternly say . . .
"THOU SHALT NOT TEMPT THE LORD THY GOD."
My body started to shake, I began to cry, my heart pounded so loud I could hear it. I turned red, and began to perspire. The thought that went through my mind was, "COULD THAT BE GOD?"
I thought I remembered that verse from the Bible. After looking for and finding my Bible buried in the bottom of my closet, I looked in the concordance, I found the verse.
Matthew 4:7, "Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."
As I read it, I knew there was a God. I was so relieved He was there. To think this is NOT all there is. . .THERE IS MORE!! I was so excited. I had actually heard God. He did prove to me that He existed!
After living on cloud nine for a couple of weeks, the thought hit me that maybe I needed to do something about the fact that there was a God. The realization that I had to respond to God one way or another now that I knew He was there became a reality.
"How do I get to God after being such a bad person," I thought? I started searching for truth by reading books about Heaven, Hell, God, Satan, anything I could get my hands on. I even tried the Oji board, the horoscope, and tea leaves. I didn't care where I got the answers; I just wanted to find out more about my life after death.
I would like to mention at this point that thirty years ago, Satan was not as blatant as he is today. Today, the occult is so prevalent that it looks good to someone who wants a 'supernatural' life.
Do not be fooled by something that 'feels' good. God said in His Word:
John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly."
All I found on my search was information that created more questions. I even thought about going to church, which I had not done for years. I missed getting dressed up as I did when I was little. Reasoning that Sunday School would be good for my kids, the decision was made to go to a little church near my house. I was sure they would be able to answer some of my questions. Unfortunately, they had nothing to offer me.
I was sharing my frustrations with a cousin and she said, "Well, I know what you are looking for, Judy, a personal relationship with Jesus. You need to be saved."
I didn't know what THAT was, but I did agree to a correspondence Bible Study. Week after week, my papers came back with exceptional grades, but I did not understand what it was talking about!
It was about this time that my aunt invited me to her church. One day a lady who was in my Sunday School class called me. She said, "Judy, a girl just got saved in our class, and we would like to start a Bible study. Would you be interested?"
There's that word again, I thought, I didn't know what being 'saved' was all about, but I sure jumped at the chance of a Bible study thinking maybe THEY would have some answers. "Yes!" I said, "I would love to."
At our first meeting my friend looked at me and said, "Judy, are you saved?" My response was "Uh, well, ah. . ." embarrassed because I didn't know what to say, she saw my dilemma, and said, "Well, here, let me show you." She read some scripture verses and as she was reading them, I said in my heart, "OK, God, you can have everything I ever was, everything I am today, and everything I will be in the future. Yes, I want Jesus in my heart." When I said 'yes' to Jesus, it literally felt like five thousand pounds were lifted off my shoulders, physically. I didn't know what had happened,
Jesus said. . .in Matthew 11:30, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light."
I experienced this at that moment!
After I said yes to Jesus, I began noticing a few things; I could understand what the Bible was talking about when I read it. The Bible says:
John 14:26, "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. " (NKJV)
I not only knew what the Bible was talking about, but I could remember it!
Then I noticed that I did not feel condemnation any more concerning all the things I had done that I knew were not right. I always knew I was not a good person, guilt had been hanging over me for years, but after I said yes to Jesus, I no longer felt it.
Romans 8:1, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
Being a good person does not get us into Heaven. I can remember hoping that because God is love, He would just let me in on my own merits. Now that I have learned about God, the Bible says "NO."
Ephesians 2:8, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not as a result of works, that no one should boast."
We can only be saved through faith; not because we are good. There is only one way to find Him and that is through Jesus. Remember those four nights I prayed and asked God to forgive me and please let me in Heaven? Nothing happened! The only way He could respond to me was through Jesus.
Let me give you an example of what I mean - If you are going to Europe, you don't just hop in your car and start driving. You'll drown when you get to the ocean! The only way you can get over the ocean is by plane or boat. You must go over it; it is the only way! Likewise, if you are hoping to go to Heaven, the only way you will get there is by believing Jesus is God's son, He died for your sins and became your ticket to Heaven.
Maybe you have had questions in the back of your mind like I did. I found the answer, and I want to help you find them too. This is not all there is to life; there is an eternal, forever- after life. It will be spent either in Hell or Heaven. Satan is vying for our eternal life. That is why he told me 'this is all there is,' hoping I would believe it and be doomed like he is for all eternity. Fortunately, I had enough background in the church to question it. Perhaps you do not. Perhaps you have believed what Satan has told you through your life with words spoken by your friends, your teachers, TV, music, books, or maybe in your own thoughts. Now, I am not saying your friends, teachers, and others in your life are telling you not to believe in God. I am talking about subtle things like, 'God is loving, he won't send good people to Hell. You are a good person, look at everything you do for others. Hell is what we are experiencing on earth!'
I must tell you that, yes, God is a loving God. But He is also just. He has stated in His Word, the Bible, who He is, what He has done, and what you need to do to reach Him.
If you make the choice to reject God, I want you to be aware of what is coming in your future.
Before you write this off as 'one of those kooks', let me tell you that the day after I read some of these things from a book I received about hell, "A Divine Revelation of Hell," by Mary K. Baxter. God showed me in the Bible where He had talked about the very thing this author saw. Over a period of forty days, God gave her visions of hell and commissioned her to tell all, to choose life.
According to the Bible a sin is as small as a little lie; In Colossians 3:9 it reads:
"Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices. . ."
Or as big as a murderer, 1 John 3:15, "Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."
Let's face it, we are all sinners, the Bible tells us, in Romans 3:23 ". . .for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God . . . "
We all have this 'knower' inside of us that tell us we have sinned. Sometimes we feel guilty about our sin, other times we just blow it off. Have you ever done that? Well, God says that we do not meet His standard the way we are. Having been born with the sin we inherited from Adam and Eve, He made sure there was a way we could be clean and sin-free. He did that by sending His son, Jesus Christ, to pay the debt for our sins.
I love you dear reader; I do not want you in one of those pits forever, which this book I read speaks about. I questioned in my mind about what was written in that book; thinking that it was pretty radical! I want you to know that the very next day I was looking over some verses I had written out, and one of them, hit me over the head! It says in Psalm 103:4 "Who redeems your life from the pit."
All at once, I knew everything I had read in that hell book was true - really true. I do not want you to go there, please listen to Jesus. Nothing in life is worth burning in hell forever for!
There are only two things you must do. Confess that Jesus is Lord, that God raised Him from the dead, and believe.
1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Hebrews 11:6 " . . . for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him."
Our life is like this story:
Picture yourself at the mailbox going through all the junk mail and something catches your eye. It has a gold insignia on it. Looks pretty important! Upon opening it, you find an invitation to attend a banquet at the White House with the President of the United States. It says to RSVP and the President himself to assure a place for you will contact you.
You can't believe it! You tack it to the refrigerator, and tell others about it. You have a year to get ready! At the library you find books that will help you be prepared to eat with all those dignitaries. You need to find out about all the silverware, and the proper usage of it. You want to fit in, and not look like you don't belong there. After saving your money, finally you find a car that would be suitable to drive up to the front of the White House. You shop for just the right suit or dress, it must fit perfectly, and the colors must be right. The day is finally here, and you're all packed and ready to go.
You drive as far as you can, and the valet takes over for you. You are brought to the doorman that greets all the guests. You have never been treated like this before! It has been a long time since you experienced butterflies in your stomach. You tell him your name, and he asks you to take a seat a moment. A few minutes later he returns with the guest book, and says, "I am very sorry to tell you this, but your name is not in the guest book.
Out of desperation you say, "I did forget to call, but I can't imagine that it really would make a difference. You see, I did receive the invitation. I spent a lot of time finding out about the President. I read books about him, I worked at the polls, and I told people to vote for him. I learned all about what he likes and dislikes and . . . "
The doorman interrupts saying, "I am sorry, there was a requirement that you answer the RSVP. We did not hear from you, therefore, your name is not written in the guest book. You cannot be allowed to enter."
You go away feeling pretty bad, even though you knew you did forget to answer the RSVP. You have no one to blame but yourself.
Now here you are, living life the only way you know how, and you keep getting bugged by people like me who say to you, "If you want to go to Heaven, you must ask Jesus into your life!"
Imagine yourself knocking on the door to Heaven after you have died. You say, "Lord, open up to me," like they did in Luke 13:25-27. Jesus is going to have the angels get the 'Book of Life' and look for your name. As they look, they cannot find it. Jesus will say, "I am sorry, but your name is not in the Book of Life. And you say, "But Jesus, you do not understand, you see, I know all about you, I heard about you all my life, especially when I was younger, I believed that God sent you! I have always been a good person, and tried to live so people would think highly of me. I know that God is love, I went to church a lot, I even read the Bible and I prayed. I never heard from you Lord, how can you blame me?" You did everything you could. It just never seemed to be enough.
Jesus will say, "I'm sorry, you did not answer the invitation I sent to you over and over. I cannot allow you to enter Heaven, except only if your name is in the Book of Life.
There is protocol to visiting the White House. Answering the RSVP.
There is protocol to entering Heaven. Answering the invitation!
I have taken this time to tell you about Jesus because it is heart wrenching to think you might miss Heaven. If you miss it by an inch, it is the same at 5000 miles. You can try very hard to be good, but if you do not know Him personally, you will not be able to enter Heaven.
In these last days before Jesus comes, there are things happening that we cannot explain. One of them is visions. I have also heard more than one person talk about going to Heaven. They talk about similar things. It is real, don't be fooled. The enemy, Satan, has done a good job of deceiving you, because he knew you had a Spiritual Heritage. Perhaps you were not able to perform what God had for you. I have learned how to fight in the spiritual realm for my rights. I would like you to know that I am not going to let you go without a fight! All God's people in America and around the world need to know the truth. Now that you know it, the truth can make you free. It is your choice!
You matter to me, and I do not want anyone to spend eternity in hell, especially you. If I never get to know you here on earth please let me get to know you in Heaven. There will be lots of time there.
If you would like Jesus to live in your heart, and want to be assured that your name is in the Book of Life, please pray these words from your heart:
Dear Heavenly Father: I know that I am a sinner and need Your forgiveness. I believe that You sent Jesus who died for my sins. I turn from my sins and invite Jesus to come into my heart and life. I want to receive Your salvation by faith, and trust Jesus as my Savior. In Jesus' Name. Amen
If you have asked Jesus into your life, I would like to pray for you. I also have a gift for you. Please let me know either by email or regular mail who you are and your address, and I will send your gift within one week of receiving your commitment to Jesus.
Thank you and God bless you for reading this far! My hope and prayer for you is that you did ask Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior.
12805 19 Mile Rd,
LeRoy, MI 49655
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