This is a truly inspriational story about beginning again and making life matter.  If someone would have told Susan Stafford 16 years ago that someday she would leave the escort business, eventually work legitimate jobs, author a few books, tell the world about her past and be where she is today, she would have told them they were out of their minds.  She had no plans of changing and that was final.  Please read her powerful life-changing story.  You truly will be blessed!

My first near-death encounter was when I was around the age of ten when my mother was married to my stepfather, Herb. Herb was an abusive alcoholic who would chase me and my family down with an axe until I was holding for my dear life on the roof of my house. There were many nights I would hide in my attic, lock my bedroom door with a chair behind it. Then there was another time when he had sexually bitten me so badly I thought I was never going to survive into the next day. My mother was very unaffectionate and unattached to her children. Due to living with an alcoholic, our lives were also in constant chaotic disaster. We moved from school to school, as many as 2-3 times per year. There was also a time when the court system gave my mother an ultimatum: Herb or her kids- she chose him. So I already felt very neglected by her growing up. I never learned how to form friendships. Not even with the first female I ever knew, my mother. When you combine all of those emotional disasters and scars, it sets up the stage for a volatile mixture.

It wasn’t until the age of 12 when my mother had finally divorced him. By then I was hanging out with the wrong group of kids. I wanted to be accepted in their group, so I shadowed whatever they did. My friends taught me how to roll a joint of marijuana and sniff cocaine. They even introduced me to Budweiser’s and cigarettes. Truthfully, I didn’t care for the smell or taste for any of those things (I even had to practice inhaling a cigarette in my basement one day just to get used it), but I just wanted to be liked no matter what kinds of habits or drugs they were into, so I made myself do them. Next thing I know I was getting high, skipping school and well on my way to being a long-term drug addict. I became sexually active and explored teenage pornography. Yeah, life was one big party. Then one day I got raped and threatened with a knife, and just when I needed my friends most nobody cared. Then I found myself overdosing on dexatrim pills. I wanted desperately to have an out of body experience and remain disoriented until my heart stopped. Immeasurable sorrow seemed to be my only certain destiny. Well, it didn’t take long before my mother discovered my broken state and put me in a rehab center. I straightened up while I was in the center. I thought I had done a pretty good job until I went back from a visitation with my mom. Someone drugged the grape juice I drank right prior to giving my routine drug test. Today, they have better protective policies in place before giving a drug test. Back then, they didn’t. Then I had to talk my way out of the program because no one believed me, not even my mother who was fully conscious and with me the whole time. But the physiologists had her doubting her eyesight and memories of the night we were together, and by the time I was released, I was VERY angry at my mother (for more reasons than one). I wanted to be out on my own, out of her life forever.

That same day Herb had phoned and he offered me a place to stay. By that time, he and my mom had been divorced for a few years and he was clean and sober. Somewhat skeptical, I considered my other choices (which at that time there were none), so I seized the opportunity and moved into his small apartment.

He offered me the perfect opportunity; a modeling job. Sounds good, right? Wrong! It was sex. He told me more lies and I believed them. I had it all. A companion in a fully loaded car, an expensive condo and the best that life could afford, yet I was miserable. Miserable under the influence of my pimp, rapist, and role model step-father - and he was making money off of my destruction. It wasn't supposed to be that way with my stepfather, was it?

By the time I was able to free myself from his grip, I started to get an attitude because I got sick and tired of being used by people; everything revolved around me...MY desires…MY wants…MY life…MY pride. I remained in the escort business and also worked in a whorehouse. Many times family and friends would lovingly try to tell me that I needed to change, but I wouldn’t hear of it. Not even for my husband.

Stepping over the puddles, I became pregnant and gave birth to a still-born son that was fortunate enough to be revived. I really loved him, even more than myself. I fought kicking and screaming while trying to work in the escort service to support him, but there was a lot of falls, bumps and bruises along the way. Eventually I ended up in the State of Illinois with my boyfriend, Craig. I had painted this naïve picture in my head that we would move from Florida to Illinois and be one big happy family while I remained in the escort service. I got my son a babysitter for the evening, and the next thing I know I ended up in jail. That wasn’t supposed to happen. But no sweat, I thought, it was my first offense. You see, on a first offense in the USA it was considered a minor misdemeanor. I should have been out in four hours. I repeat: four hours. But that never happened. Four hours turned into ten, then twenty-four, then two days, then three, then four. I was given no water to drink, not even a sip! That wasn’t supposed to happen either. I will never forget that third night. I thought that was where my life had ended. You see, by the time the third night came, I really believed that I was never going to get out.  I knew that there was something wrong going on behind the system, but there was obviously nothing that I could do about it. All I could I do was feel completely hopeless over my situation. That situation, the lifestyle, the promiscuous behavior, my incapability to make mature decisions, is also what eventually led me to the loss of my son. But that's what it took. God knew all that it would take to finally break me to bring me to my knees….with my eyes up and toward Heaven. I chose the road that led me INTO that Jail. God chose the road that led me OUT.

That was where my life began.

While God could forgive me, my journey was far from over.

Why did I do it?

I stayed in it because I felt that I was never loved. I first filled that love with the affirmation of drugs, and then I filled that void with the affirmation of other men. And that became the infection of the next seven years of my life. It’s called DESTINATION DISEASE. That was fourteen years ago, and I have never gone back to that lifestyle since. NEVER! I’m not going to tell you that it’s been a rose garden since. I’ve been through a lot of peaks and valleys.

So, my dear friend, how have I changed?

Now I have a relationship with God, and I have a testimony to tell you. Fourteen years later, God has transformed the way I think. That, in a nutshell, is a MIRACLE. I was very stubborn! It has now been twenty-three years since I have had any involvement with drugs, sixteen years since I've been out of the escort service, fourteen years since I told my side sugar daddy that it was OVER for GOOD, and nine years since I've quit smoking!! I have been married for thirteen years, and he's a Christian man! God blessed me with three more beautiful children with my husband that I have previously home schooled (wow, what a difference it is to be able to raise children with knowing who the father really is and without the worry of the lifestyle of prostitution).  I've worked legitimate jobs ever since, and I have amassed a stable work history in the past with promotions into other departments. I am also now a published Author of three books. Jesus was the one that made me want to change; He's the one that set me free! It's been an exciting journey!

We now live in Bible belt Tennessee. My obsession with money, men, and pride has been replaced by humility and a commitment to a life of service. Ministering and praying in the weak, holding hands of the homeless suits me much better than having the elegance of all that life could afford in the escort service. And I much prefer helping prostitutes over a smelly, heavy drunk pounding on top of my body any day.

When I reflect back, I can’t believe that other person was me. But it WAS me! God took the drugs, the pain, the broken dreams and dead end streets and turned them into rainbows. If God could forgive me and take me from where I came from, he could do it for you to. If you bring all your trash to Jesus, He’ll take it and turn it into something good. It doesn’t matter how bad you think your trash smells, whatever you’ve done, or whether you think you deserve it or not, He’ll clean it up and give you a whole new life.

The Bible says that “All of us have sinned and fall short of God’s glory. Because Jesus came as our sacrifice, He freely accepts us and sets us free from our sins” (Romans 3:23-24 CEM)

The Bible also says “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9 NIV)

Jesus says “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me”

What about you? Are you where you’d thought you’d be in life? I never thought I’d be where I am in mine. None of that stuff was supposed to happen. Now I’m 38. Yeah, I’ve had a rough life. There were many times when I could have been dead, and other times when I wanted to take my life but you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world! In fact, I’m grateful for it. I’d rather be broken and healed than selfish and doomed for Hell. Jesus is the real thing, the only thing. Just give it up. The pride, the games- you won’t surprise Him. You’ve seen a small glimpse of what he’s done in mine, and that doesn’t even scratch the surface. Let him turn your life into a life worth living. All you have to do---all you have to do--- is ask.