I HATE GOD!
What has God ever done for me? Iíve never killed anyone. Iíve never raped anyone. Iíve never robbed a bank or stolen a car. Yeah Ė Iíve hurt a few people, but they hurt me first! They deserve what they got!
Youíve hurt me, God, from the day I was born. I had no father or mother to raise me. I went from foster home to foster home as though I was just a cheap piece of rubbish. No one ever really loved me. Sandy was the only one who ever really loved me, and you let her get cancer and die on me. God, I hate you so much.
You even let Molly get ran over by a car. Remember that, God? Molly was my friendís pet dog, and Molly loved me more than she loved Sam, her owner. Molly would come over and beg me to pet her and play with her. She was the only one I could really talk to. She was the only one I could really trust. She never turned her back on me like everyone else has. And you let her get run over God. You took my only true friend, and I hate you for that too!
Remember that time my mom called me and asked if I would meet her at that restaurant? She wanted to see what I looked like all grown up. I waited there at that restaurant, God, but mom never showed up. She never ever even called back to tell me what happened. I prayed and asked you to have her call me and tell me why she never showed up, but you wouldnít even have her do that!
Sandy and me were good together, God. She had been hurt her whole life just like me. She understood me, and I understood her. We had plans to marry as soon as we could get some money together. When I held her in my arms, I felt like nothing else in the world mattered. My hurt would go away and herís would go away too. You took that away from me God, and Iíll hate you forever for taking her away from me. Why did you have to let her die?
I used to dream that she would come to me at night. I swear I could hear her in my room sometimes, calling my name, after she died. I prayed and asked you to let me see her, but you wouldnít even let me see her, even though I begged you to. I could feel her there sometimes Ö I know she was there beside me Ė but you wouldnít let me see her. You are so cruel, God.
Look at the mess this world is in? People killing people over nothing. People strung out on drugs and killing each other for it. What kind of God are you to make people do things like this? Babies starving in other countries and disease is killing people like no tomorrow. People killing people because of their hatred over religious beliefs and people blowing themselves up thinking that you are going to reward them in heaven for it? This is crazy, God, and I think you are crazy too. Youíre crazy, God, thatís what you are Ė mad crazy!
And remember that time I went into that church to talk to you? I really wanted to know if you really are real, or people just believe in you because they need something to believe in. I gave you a chance to prove to me that you are real, and nothing happened. I even got down on my knees and asked you to somehow show me you are real, and nothing happened. Nothing! I donít think you are real, even. If you were, you would answer me right now. Are you a coward, God, or just think youíre too important to let me know you are real or not?
Yet I want you to be real so you can know how much I hurt. I want you to hurt just like I hurt. I want you to hurt worse! I donít deserve to hurt this way. Why did you let me be born in the first place? Just to hurt like this? You are so cruel and mean.
Religious nuts say you died on a cross for my sins. They claim you even rose again and went to heaven after you died. Well, if that is so, why didnít you let Sandy come back to life? Those religious nuts claim you healed people before you died Ė why didnít you heal Sandy before she died? She asked you to heal her, but you didnít. I donít think you healed nobody. I donít think you even died. I donít think you even existed. Youíre just a fairytale lie some religious nuts have come up with so they can get money out of poor people. Thatís what I think.
So you going to send me to hell for hating you, God? How can hell be any worse than the hell Iíve lived my whole life? I donít want to live anymore, God. I want to get it all over with because Iím tired of hurting. Iím tired of the pain. I want you to hurt like Iím hurting God. You donít even care if I hurt, do you God?
My child Öif you could only see the tears Iíve shed for you since your birth, and multitudes like you. If you could only know how much my heart really aches when people start hating me as much as you hate me. If you really knew Ö
My child Ö donít you think I knew the heartache you were going to experience before I allowed you to even be born? Do you think I delighted in knowing the hurt and pain you were going to experience during your lifetime? You are so wrong if you think I delight in such pain.
Donít you think Iím aware of how much evil is on the earth? Do you think Iím blind to it? Do you think Iím going to allow evil to continue forever? No Iím not. I have a plan in motion to take care of evil, and I have promised the people of earth in the holy scriptures that I will execute that plan exactly the way I planned it from the beginning. Stop listening to what others think about the bible, and read it for yourself. Find out for yourself what my plan is to cleanse earth of the evil you see around you.
Do you realize I gave you a choice to hate me? To love me? To believe in me or not believe in me? Why would you think I gave you that free choice? Because I wanted to make you miserable? Would you have wanted me to make you a robot, and program you to believe what I, your creator, wanted you to only believe? Thatís not love. That is control. That would be every bit as evil as any other evil is. True love allows others to believe what they want to believe, not control what they believe.
Suppose I had healed Sandyís cancer. Would that have caused you to stop hating me? I can tell you it would not have. You have hated me from your childhood because you did not have your birth parents to raise you. You worship hate, if the truth be known. Hate is your god, and you donít even realize it. You demand your right to hate me, and I have given you that right Ė that choice. You are given the right to hate me for all eternity, and life doesnít end after you die. It continues forever. I cannot lie either Ė if you carry your hate into eternity, there will be no changing it. It will only intensify as will the hurt and pain it brings.
Many have surrendered their hate to me and you can too, if you only will make the decision to do so before you die. I can perform a miracle in you that you canít comprehend right now. I can cause all your hate to die and put an appreciation for life in you that is beyond your wildest comprehension. You will begin to understand things like youíve never understood them before. You will begin to treasure talking to me and trusting me to work things out in your life like youíve never known before. I am not lying. I am a miracle working God, because Iím God. Yet I will never force you or anyone else to stop hating me. I will not force you to love me. I have given you the right - the power - to continue hating me, or start loving me.
Youíll never learn to truly love me until you allow me to begin to help you understand what my Son accomplished for you on the cross. I realize you donít want to hear this, but everyone will be judged according to how they responded to my Son dying on the cross for their sins. That was decreed before the foundation of the world. I would be lying to tell you otherwise, and lying is never love.
Are you afraid to love me, or is it just more enjoyable to hate me than love me? I reveal myself to those who want to love me and please me, not hate me. I have feelings too -- please know that.
The choice is yours, my child. I already know what my choice is. I want to think joyous thoughts about you every moment through eternity. I want you to allow me to transform you into a miracle creation beyond anything you can possibly imagine. I want to set you free from hate and fill you with love for your creator. When you pass from this life to the next, I desire that you look forward to seeing me face to face with eager expectation Ė not shaking your fist at me and venting more anger and hate. What pleasure will that bring me? What joy for any amount of time will that bring you, when you realize that I will not have anyone in my kingdom who hates me. Those who pass into the next life hating me will go to a kingdom where hate is their ruler. If only you would believe how much I do not want you, or anyone else, to go to that kingdom. You have no idea what anguish of soul is until you are there in that kingdom. I desire to have you in my kingdom, where there is joy forevermore and anguish cannot be.
Please, my child, turn from you anger and hate Ö before it is too late. Please.
Editorial Note: The above document is of an anonymous origin. Nevertheless, we feel to make it available on the website because it communicates the conflict some may have ... or have had ... with God. Our purpose in publishing it is not to make people upset or even more angry with God than what they already are. Counselors have found that some people have so much pain inside them from life that if they don't have an opportunity to share it with someone ... it can take a great toll on the mental as well as physical health of a person.
If you want to write us and share how much you hate God, please be encouraged to do so. In so doing, it may have a therapeutic effect after you have done so. Hate is commonly thought to be the most poisonous emotion we can have, and the sooner a person finds an outlet for that emotion (other than purposely harming someone else in the process), the better off that person will most likely be, both in living with themselves, and in their association with others they are in contact with.
There is a testimony we've been privileged to publish that I would highly recommend you consider reading. It may give you some insight into suffering that you've never given much thought to: http://www.precious-testimonies.com/Hope_Encouragement/p-t/ReynoldsSteven.htm
Norm Rasmussen, Director ... email@example.com
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Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. Either Jesus Christ died for yours sins, or He didn't (He did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God? We plead with you ... please don't make such a tragic mistake.
To get to know God; to be at peace with God; to have your sins forgiven; to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity; to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help understand the importance of being reconciled to God. What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life.