YOUR MARRIAGE'S BIGGEST LIE
It's The Great Lie...With Which No Woman Can Compete!
I recently attended a Promise Keepers conference where one of the speakers challenged us toward integrity in our lives. We enthusiastically cheered every word he said. But a deafening silence fell over the arena when the speaker asked for a show of hands from those who had ever struggled with pornography. The response was stunning! Easily half of those in attendance - thousands of primarily Christian men with a desire to serve God - publicly admitted to a porn problem.
What is pornography? It certainly isn't what it's presented to be - an acceptable outlet for sexual expression without a partner, or an aid to those who wish to enhance their sex lives within a relationship. No...in reality, porn is an addictive, visually stimulating, mind altering drug that can bring Godly people to their knees in spiritual defeat.
And in the end, pornography destroys marriages...by perpetrating a great LIE that many men find almost impossible to resist...
"My wife isn't good enough"
No wife can compete with pornography. Why? Because pornography lies! Pornography portrays women as always wanting sex; as always looking and dressing sexy; as always reacting to sex with euphoric enthusiasm; as always doing what men want and always enjoying what men do to them.
Therefore, when a wife doesn't measure up in bed to the women in pornography, the man rejects her and turns to the pornography - thinking he'd rather have the porn than have his wife. Proper and truly fulfilling sexual intimacy, characterized by mutual respect and satisfaction, is shattered.
Men in particular, listen up! Here's the TRUTH about pornography...
It's bondage - If pornography controls your life in any way, you're an addict - and it has the same diabolical hold on a person's life as alcohol or drug addiction, except that porn addiction is more of a mental than physical bondage. Porn addiction can only end in private, and possibly even public, disgrace and humiliation.
It's a turn off to your spouse - Another lie of pornography is that it'll make you a more proficient lover. A pastor who has counseled hundreds of couples who've dealt with porn addiction revealed that nearly all the women, when they did consent to sex with their husband, never achieved an orgasm. They went through the motions because they knew their husband was not making love to them; he was only thinking of his porn fantasy.
It is adultery - When you use pornography, your wife experiences the same pain and betrayal as if you'd committed adultery with another woman...and her feelings are fully supported by Scripture (Matthew 5:27-28). The Bible also exhorts husbands to love their lives unconditionally and sacrificially, with Christ Himself as your model (Ephesians 6:25,28). This is impossible when pornography is in your life.
It kills trust - Because of your addiction, your wife endures a roller coaster of emotions - feeling used, broken, numb. At first she may blame herself for your problem, but eventually she'll just become angry and hurt. The trust in your marriage, undermined by your deceit, may take years to rebuild. Not only does she not want to be with you sexually. Unless you forsake your addiction, she'll not want to be with you at all.
It's separation from God - When your mind is given to pornography, you cannot have intimacy with God because porn is your idol (Colossians 3:5). When you belong to Christ, you will live by the Spirit and put to death your sinful nature, including sexual immorality (Galatians 5:16-19,24). Porn addiction cannot have any part in your life if you desire to please God and live for Him.
The even greater truth is that pornography addiction can be defeated. Hope and healing is available through God! The process will take time, and won't be easy. But when porn is purged from a marriage, you will know complete intimacy in your relationship like never before!
Feel free to pass this email along to other friends that might enjoy and benefit from the information contained.
We received this Marriage E-mentoring email as a subscriber to Dr. Randy Carlson's new Marriage E-mentoring and loveyourmarriage.com.
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