I DO NOT HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF ANYMORE!

I NO LONGER HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF!

By: Patricia Fennell

"I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." -- Galatians 2:20

This past week I had opportunity to go to one of my favorite places to have coffee in the morning - Panera's in the local RiverTown Crossings Mall in Wyoming, Michigan. Having once had a job that I went to every morning for the past five years, I always went to Panera's to have my morning coffee and time to just read. That, and I came to know many folks that visit the place as regularly as I did, and I miss them.

While sitting there in my favorite spot, a lady came up to me and said, "I don't know if you remember me but you use to work for Arby's and I came in all the time." My face lit up. I knew who this lady was and we briefly played catch-up. Then as she and her now grown daughter began to leave, I thanked her for taking the time to stop and say "Hi" to me.

There was a time (especially while growing up) I strongly desired not to be forgotten. It was so important that when I left my life here on earth, I especially did not want to be forgotten ... even if I never made any major contribution to society or had lived some fantastic life according to the world's standard of achieving "success" or "fame." Growing up -- never fully being "loved and accepted" -- feeling more like I was more of a hindrance than a blessing to my parents ... it was hard for me to know what my value really was.

Over the years I involved myself in things that gave me a certain amount of value and then identified myself (value) through my marriage, my children, etc. Then people would remember who I was, I felt.

I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart at age thirteen, yet didn't really knowing Him, and who I am in Him. I was always searching for ways in which I would not be forgotten by those who I loved, whether I was at church, work, home, friends or family outings and the like.

In just this past year the truth and reality of who I am in Christ, that it is not "I" who lives, but Christ who lives in me, has become such a revelation to me. "He kept me as the apple of His eye." (Deu. 32:10). I no longer have to prove myself -- He loves me no matter what! I am accepted in the Beloved. More and more as I grow closer in my relationship with my heavenly Father, I want Him to be remembered - represented - not me. Giving up my rights to myself for His rights to live in me, and live His life through me.

I was out grocery shopping yesterday with my oldest daughter, Sarah, and we ran into a gentleman at the check-out stand (again someone I once knew) who I hadn't seen in several years, and I said "Hi" and we chatted. As we left, Sarah said, "I can't go anywhere with you where you don't run into someone who knows you or visa verse!"

I shared with my daughter that no longer matters anymore about who does or does not know me ... but it's all about knowing Christ who lives in me. Placing and keeping my focus on Him gives me great peace because I no longer have to be concerned about me, myself and I. I may be taking baby steps at this point in my life, but I am pressing forward, and that is a miracle in itself!

Christ will be remembered long after I am gone. He is still alive today. Oh is He ever! When I go to be with Him in my eternal home, I can only hope and pray that I left more of Him behind in this earthly world ... than me.

"Christ in me, the hope of glory" -- Colossians 1:27

I am His,

Patricia

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