HE RAISED ME UP
By: Peggy Jones
Irene ... this is for you.
I was raised in an abusive environment where physical, sexual and emotional abuse were a way of life. I have been told that before my mother gave birth to me my father dragged her by her hair across the whole length of the house. So the abuse began before I even entered the world. The damage caused went deep into the very core of my being. I was afraid of the night; had no confidence in myself; no trust in others; I could not look into anyone's eyes when I spoke; I would bite my nails until they bled; I was always afraid of what was going to happen next.
The sexual abuse started when I was nine years old (at least that's the time I remember), and continued on until my father committed suicide when I was 15 1/2 years old. The day he shot himself there was a bullet in the gun for each one of us. I know that God intervened and protected us. It was a six chamber gun and six of us in the family. However, my brother was in the Army stationed in Korea at the time, so my father only loaded the gun with five bullets. He intended, as he had always promised, to take us all if he ever did anything to himself.
The damage to me did not really show up until I married at 18 years of age. No one at the time in the professional fields understood the damages caused by an alcoholic abuser. My adult life was riddled with rage, insecurity, fright, and many inabilities. However, I am here to say that my God is more than able to heal the deepest areas of your soul. He is able to free you from the most horrible memories of abuse. He is able to place you on the mountaintop and give you beauty for the ashes of your life.
Although I am unemployed at this time (July 2007), I know that God is able to provide employment for me. My marriage failed but through it I have been blessed with three beautiful children and five beautiful grandchildren. Life without a companion is not easy but God remains faithful to be my husband, my provider, my strength, my defender. I could go on an on and am probably going to write a book, Lord willing, regarding my life.
For now, I just want you to know that no matter where you are or what you have been through, our God reigns and His mercy endures forever. He is to be trusted because His Word is truth and His love is real.
My heart's desire is to be a public speaker and share my story with the abused, so they can get on a path of recovery as well through through God's help. I want people to see the miracles of my life and to know that God is there for everyone who wants Him in their life. I know that God has spoken to me in times past about this desire that burns within me. I ask for prayer for my employment and that I remain walking in God's path.
My email: PJones9146@comcast.net.
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