Dying on the inside. I was headed straight for Hell and ...I was filled with hate, bitterness, resentment, anger, vengeance, and fear. Had I died, I would have gone to Hell because no one knew what I held inside.
I was filled with all these things because of failed relationships after I became a widow. I hated men. I was even a liar and lied to get attention. On top of all that, I had a filthy mouth. I was always down and out, tired, snappy, worried, and just plain evil.
Then one day, I saw a guy I really liked. I thought whatever time I have left, I wanted that time to be with him. I wasn't in church at the time, but I was in counseling with a pastor. The pastor told me, 'Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.' (Matt: 6:33). He wasn't saying what I wanted to hear, but he was telling me the truth.
I was hard-headed and went on doing whatever I wanted to do. I suffered the wrath of disobedience. I was trampled on, kicked to the curb, and taken total advantage of. My life was in total shambles and all because I didn't 'Seek Him first and His righteousness.' The relationship was a disaster. Believe it or not, the Heavenly Father was there to pick up the pieces.
The same man that I thought was gold invited me to church. I thought, Why not. I really need God back in my life. I knew what it was to be a Christian, but never knew what it truly meant until I entered that church. I knew this was where my feet would be planted, and it was my new home.
By the way, all that glitters is not gold. I found that out the hard way. But finally I got the message, and my life has been great ever since. I still have trials and tribulations, but knowing that God is on my side, I am not worried. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
One Sunday, Pastor was preaching on hate, anger, bitterness, and resentment. I took offense to the preaching because I resembled all the things he was preaching and more. Wow, how ironic that he would preach on something so deep that would touch me so personally. Then he said, 'Anyone who has these things in their heart, please come forward, and God can set you free.'
Well, another thing I had was pride. There was no way I was going up there and letting people know these things about me. I was truly full of a lot of garbage, and I didn't know how much until someone preached on it and brought it out.
Needless to say, my feet started moving me forward. There I was, tears overflowing, heart beating fast, and something lifting off of me. I didn't think it could ever happen to me. I have never felt an inner peace as I do now.
I used to take Tylenol just to sleep, not for pain, but for sleep. No more. I sleep wonderfully at night now. The worry is gone. Evil, hate, resentment, bitterness, anger, and vengeance are all gone. Lying and a filthy mouth are gone. The pride is gone. Thank God, I am free. God is so good.
REAL LIFE GOD STORIES - Chapter 15
DYING ON THE INSIDE
Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. Either Jesus Christ died for yours sins, or He didn't (He did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God? We plead with you ... please don't make such a tragic mistake.
To get to know God; to be at peace with God; to have your sins forgiven; to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity; to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help understand the importance of being reconciled to God. What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life.
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