While growing up, all I ever wanted was to get married and have kids.  It was my dream to be a mom.  When I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always, "A wife and mommy," ... which was strange in the generation I grew up in.

The day came that I met the man of my dreams.  We fell in love and were married nine months later.  It only took me a month to get pregnant and when I found out that I was pregnant, I couldn't have been happier.

Everything seemed to be going fine until I started bleeding at three months.  I went into the hospital and found out that I was pregnant with twins.  The doctor then informed me that one of the babies had passed, but the other one had a very strong heartbeat.

I was sad that both didn't survive, but at least one of them were OK.  They admitted me into the hospital to watch the baby and make sure it was OK, while I miscarried the other.

Then, my OB/GYN came into see me.  He told me they were going to do a D&C and I asked about the baby that was still alive.  He asked me what I meant, and then told me that he didn't understand why they would say that, because they were both gone.  He later told me that it was a boy and a girl, and they both had passed at eight weeks.

So there I was, laying in a hospital bed, with some stranger in a bed next to me, and I didn't just lose one child, now I had lost two.

I was devastated.  I went into a deep depression, and I decided that I never wanted to have kids.  I never wanted to go through that again. 

When I finally came out of the depression, I went in to be put on birth control.  She did a pregnancy test and informed me that I was too late.  I was already pregnant!

I didn't know how to feel.  I wanted to be happy, but I was afraid of what might happen.  So, I played along, pretended to be happy, but inside, I would not let myself get attached.  I didn't want to accept it until I knew the baby would be all right.

The baby was born, very healthy, and the most beautiful little girl I could ask for!  I went on birth control right after she was born, but God had another plan

When I went back in for my six week check-up, the Doctor did an exam and informed me I was pregnant again!  The pregnancy went great, and I had a healthy little boy!

Then one day, I realized they may be 11 months apart, but God gave me my twins back!  He saw the hurt and pain I was in and gave me what I needed to overcome that.

I was not saved at the time this happened, but I have a dad and mom and church that were praying for me.  Because of them, God still took care of me!  He has NEVER forsaken me!  When I thought I was running from God, it turns out I was actually running back to Him!!

-- Susan

Dear Reader - are you at peace with God?  If not, you can be.  Do you know what awaits you when you die?  You can have the assurance from the Holy Spirit that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain.  Either Jesus Christ died for yours sins, or He didn't (He did!).  Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to cover your sins?  We plead with you ... please don't make such a tragic mistake.

To be at peace with God; to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity; to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help understand the importance of being reconciled to God.  What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one.  Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life. 





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