Was I too bad? Are you too bad? After 10 days, I found out I was not too bad for . . .
I was born sixth in birth order. My father left my mother to start a new life with another woman. With no support from my father, we found ourselves hungry and financially strapped. My mother sought employment as a waitress at the local truck stop. This put a heavy responsibility on the older children, as they were left at home to care for us younger children.
Things went from bad to unbelievable as my mom met a man who soon became the father of my two baby brothers and the monster who we came to fear. My early memories of him were of him beating my mother bloody, being stabbed with forks at the dinner table, being beat myself, and being forced to hold pinching bugs for his entertainment. There seemed to be no end to his cruelty.
One morning, I was awakened to the news that our mommy was hit and killed by a drunk driver. We went through her funeral and burial, and then the separation of our family took place. My stepfather took his two sons, and my grandmother took my four older sisters. Due to her age, limited space, and finances, she was unable to keep all six of us. My sister and I were put into foster care.The social worker took my sister and I to the home of a wonderful couple. Their home was a beautiful redwood house, which sat proudly on a hill, nestled in by mature oak trees. Our foster parents provided love, compassion, instruction, discipline, and home cooked meals. My foster mom said the first time she saw us, she knew she wanted us to stay.
Things were definitely looking up. My sister was now eight, and I was six. We began to settle into our new life and were looking forward to our upcoming adoption. Suddenly this sense of peace and security was shaken when our (foster) mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Since the adoption was not yet finalized, my family became concerned that this news could spoil the adoption proceeding. My mother began praying that they would be allowed to adopt us and that she would live long enough to raise us. God heard and said yes to my mom’s prayers, and our adoption was finalized. Although her days were spent living with cancer and diabetes, she lived long enough to raise us.
We had parents who genuinely loved us. Unfortunately, as hard as my parents tried to protect me, I became the victim of sexual abuse. This set me up for a lot of hardships in my life. At 12 years old, I started smoking cigarettes. By the age of 14, I was drinking, and at 15 I started smoking pot, which led to harder drugs. By 17, I was married to an abusive alcoholic and had my first child.
Somehow, I made it through all of these experiences, and I came to a place where I began calling out to God. “God, if You’re there, or if I haven’t been too bad, let me know.” I cried out this prayer for ten days. On the tenth day, I looked towards heaven and said, “God, I believe You’re there. I must have been too bad.” A sadness came over me because I knew there was no hope.
That evening, I received a phone call from a friend’s father. He said, “Lisa, for 10 days God has been telling me to call you.” I was ecstatic because I knew this was more than a coincidence. I went with him to a Full Gospel Businessmen’s meeting, and at the end of the meeting, I prayed and asked God to forgive me and to become Lord of my life. At that moment, something wonderful happened. A change took place in me. My sadness left, and I became happier than I had ever been in my life.
Twenty-five years have went by since that day. I have remarried and just celebrated my nineteenth wedding anniversary. I have raised three wonderful children and have experienced an ever growing relationship with God. I have found that He has given us His written Word, the Bible. His Word is true and dependable. I have found out that God restores. He’s been doing this from the beginning. When Adam and Eve sinned and their relationship with God was messed up, God made a way by Jesus coming to earth, dying for our sins, and being raised again. Through this, He restored our relationship with Him.
God has restored my purity, my finances, and even my education. I have found that He desires to spend time with us, and as we do, He uses our conversation (prayers) to do miracles not only in our lives, but also in the lives of others. I have experienced love, joy, peace, hope, and restoration. My words seem too few and inadequate to express what I have experienced and gained. I pray that God’s Holy Spirit will bring you into this same type of relationship with Him.
WAS I TOO BAD?
Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. Either Jesus Christ died for yours sins, or He didn't (He did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God? We plead with you ... please don't make such a tragic mistake.
To get to know God; to be at peace with God; to have your sins forgiven; to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity; to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help understand the importance of being reconciled to God. What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life.
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