I was at a Dead End! I was depressed and empty. I did not know what was going to happen to me. Then I made a decision that changed me and brought a great peace to me.
The day I decided I needed change in my life was the day I asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins. I was raised in church. At sixteen years old, I got my first job and was introduced to the ugliness of sin. I gradually stopped going to church and felt I could control my own life. I was married at 18 years old. My mother-in-law was totally against the marriage. While pregnant with my first baby, she constantly tried to convince me to get an abortion. She knew how I could get one without having to pay for it. I repeatedly refused. She didn't want her son tied down with a family. I struggled with the fact that she wanted my baby murdered for her own selfish reasons. At 19 years old, I had a beautiful, healthy son.
After his birth, the marriage turned sour. I lived with physical and verbal abuse. My home was anything but happy. There was always turmoil. I never knew from one minute to the next if I would be hit or kicked around. I couldn't do anything right according to my husband. He would continually tell me he didn't mean what he said or did to me when he was in his violent rages. My husband was using drugs and alcohol.
At 21 years old, I felt like my life was hopeless. I was miserable and felt like I would lose my mind. I was at a dead end. I didn't have much of a work history to rely on. I was depressed and empty. If not for my son and family, I don't know what would have happened to me. My mom and church were continually praying for me.
One day in December, I was so upset about my home situation that I walked three miles to my mom's house. That day, my decision to accept Jesus as my savior changed my life. My God-spot was filled to overflowing. I had peace even though my home situation didn't change. I was a changed person.
My husband at this time was very jealous and distrustful of me. There were times I was beaten up for attending church or if I wanted to spend time with friends or family. He wanted total control of me and my life. I lived in fear of him, but I felt God's presence with me.
During the next few years, I experienced two miscarriages, which were very difficult to deal with. Again, God calmed my grief and blessed me with a complete recovery.A few years later, I was blessed with a beautiful daughter. She was my sunshine during a very dark time in my life. I continued to hold tight to my relationship with God. Drugs, alcohol and violence continued and eventually destroyed the marriage, which ended in divorce.God has been the friend to listen to me when I didn't make sense to anyone else. He loved me when I was unlovable and loves me just as much now. God was with us when my daughter was going through depression in elementary school, when my ex-husband threatened to kill me, my parents, and kidnap my daughter. He protected us and blessed me with a sound mind.
God has also been with me through the joyous times. I graduated from college at the age of 38, and now I'm working as an RN. I married a Christian man who loves me beyond reason. God healed my daughter of depression, and I could fill a whole book with the other ways God has blessed me.
God wants to bless you the same way and to be to you what He is to me. Instead of looking to things and people to fill your empty spot, God can and wants to. The longing you have in your heart that nothing else can fill is your God-spot. God is the only one that can fill it properly so you won't feel empty inside. Your situation may not change, but you will. God hasn't always calmed the storms of my life, but He has calmed me! He helps me get through the storms. I trust Him, really trust Him, to be my anchor that always holds no matter what.
God has blessed me more than I could ever have imagined. He will do the same for you, and it starts with asking Jesus to forgive you of your sins. God will be there to help you be strong when you're too weak to stand alone. He will give you the desires of your heart. It took a long time for my home environment to be what I longed for, but God knew my hopes and dreams of a Christian home without fear and violence.
I WAS AT A DEAD END
Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. Either Jesus Christ died for yours sins, or He didn't (He did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God? We plead with you ... please don't make such a tragic mistake.
To get to know God; to be at peace with God; to have your sins forgiven; to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity; to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help understand the importance of being reconciled to God. What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life.
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