I found true love, and you can too . . .

Have you ever wondered if there was really true love out there in this universe we live in!  Would there be anyone who would actually climb the highest peak, just to reach you at the top, to show how much he loved you?  I have always wondered about that kind of love, figuratively speaking, in the past.  The solution I found was there is someone who has done that and it wasn't a feeling, but a Person.  He is not just my Savior and best friend, but my True Love.  I will share with you my experience how Jesus rescued me with his love.

I have been a devoted Christian all my life.  I received Jesus in my heart when I was 5 years old, and I have been raised in a wonderful, Christ-centered home where there was love and affection.  Even though it wasn't always perfect all the time it was a good place to live.  How could I ever be empty on love because of my family and church?  But there was still this neediness in me.  I wasn't secure at times in my friendships and constantly wanted their approval and love and had a problem with jealousy sometimes.  There was always this threat of rejection because of the friendships that had seemed to fail.  However, I did desire to pursue a relationship with Jesus.  I would pray and read the Bible every day even at a young age but didn't really capture the awesome love He had for me.  There was always this neediness inside of me that desired so much to be close to someone who would never fail me, who I could always trust.  So I didn't know I was complete with Jesus Christ.  Resulting from that, I couldn't always trust people to accept me for who I was.

On a winter afternoon in March of 2002, life was about to change.  I was involved in a long distance relationship that I met through church camp.  We were just friends for a while but, of course, 'puppy love' can do something to you when you are 18 years old.

We were together for almost 3 years and became really serious and loved each other.  We talked about future plans.  We would talk everyday for hours and consume every moment to be together.  We were best friends.  But gradually there seemed to be not much time for God anymore.

After awhile, it got pretty hard being in that relationship for both of us since we barely saw each other.  Weeks later, as graduation drew near, we started having different desires for the future; as for what college to attend.  And then we started having differences with our lifestyles; especially with the calling that God has on my life and that I have high standards on living a holy life.  I finally started realizing perhaps, I wasn't in God's Will.  I really wanted to stay home for college but he wanted to go somewhere far away from his parents.  There was different conflicts happening and it seemed like the puzzle of aspirations didn't fit anymore.  We started to disagree about everything and therefore, our feelings changed.

For about a month, everywhere I would go, the Holy Spirit would be tugging at me and warning me to get out of the relationship.  All I saw was danger signs in my dreams when I would sleep.  I was playing tug-a-war with the Lord to give this up.  But I didn't know how to get out of the situation without breaking his heart.  I asked my parents what to do and they pretty much agreed with God and they prayed for me.  So one night, I just got tired of feeling depressed and insecure and just went on my knees  in my room and cried out to God to get me out of this and for His Will to be done.  I bowed my will to Him in surrender.  I wanted a peace that was beyond my understanding because I was so confused about what to do.

The next day my boyfriend called me and wanted to talk about us.  I became scared and wondered what he was going to say.  My hands became clammy and my heart was beating so fast.  From the tone of his voice, I knew something terrible was about to happen.  He thought it was best for us to break up and go our separate ways.  I thought in my mind, if you really loved me you would do whatever it took to be with me.  But he didn't choose that.  I was so angry and hurt because of rejection, however I knew this was what God wanted because He knows the plans He has for me, something beyond what I could ever imagine.  But since that release, I did feel a hundred times lighter.  It was as if I was floating on a cloud.  But deep inside, I still felt like I was worthless and unlovable.  There was this longing inside to be loved.

I went in the bathroom to dry off my tears and asked aloud, 'Is there anyone who would go the greatest lengths and measures just to be with me?'  And in a sweet sounding voice, as if someone wanted to hug and comfort me, He said, 'Amanda, I have already gone to the greatest lengths and measures to be with you.  I have an everlasting love that never fails or changes.  Don't you remember my Son, Jesus, who died on the cross just to be with you, forever?  He rose from the grave into Heaven, wanting to dwell in your heart forever.  Hold on to this love.'  When I heard Him say that, my face just glowed as a shining star in the midnight sky.  Tears fell down my cheeks with joyfulness.  I started praising Jesus for rescuing me from the Enemy's trap.  My heart was overflowing with joy and thankfulness knowing that there was someone all along, that not only did he want to be my Savior, but the Love of my heart and life.

So after that, I just felt led by God to look in my old notes when I would study His Word.  And suddenly, I found this old bookmark that I had when I was a young girl that a Sunday School teacher gave me.  I hadn't seen that in so many years.  The bookmark had my name on it and what it meant.  My name means 'Worthy of love and lovable.'  And as I was going through all that misery, feeling incomplete, and unaccepted by relying on people's imperfect love to fulfill me, to read that made me absolutely speechless!  I was in awe of God once again.  That meant so much to me, to know again that I was worthy of Jesus' love because He first loved me.  Through the good and bad times, He will never leave me or stop loving me.  Only His love can fill this longing and the hole in my heart.   And He forgave me when I asked for forgiveness for putting a man's love before God.  To know that I probably hurt my Father's heart, yet He still loves me and always will.

I am not saying my former boyfriend is a bad person.  I forgave him.  But that was a defining moment in my life that through all the pain, hurts, and broken promises in the past, God wants me to totally rely on and trust on His love and promises to complete my life.  He wants me to seek after Him as a precious jewel by falling more in love with Him.  And knowing that someday I will meet the man God has created just for me.  I am 22 years of age now, and I am still progressively falling more richly in love and waiting patiently for Jesus' Glorious Return.

So many people on this earth today are searching for true love.  They look for love in all the wrong places just to find someone or something to replace their hurt.  They think they find it, but end up disappointed or unsatisfied and still want more.  If you are thirsting for love, know that from my experience and supernatural revelation that God is love.

-- Amanda




Dear Reader - are you at peace with God?  If not, you can be.  Do you know what awaits you when you die?  You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain.  Either Jesus Christ died for yours sins, or He didn't (He did!).  Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God?  We plead with you ... please don't make such a tragic mistake.

To get to know God; to be at peace with God; to have your sins forgiven; to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity; to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help understand the importance of being reconciled to God.  What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one.  Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life. 

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