I was mad at the world.
I heard a voice say, “I will not call you much longer. If you keep ignoring me, there will be no time left for you.”
There was a time when I was mad at the world and ready to give up. I had nothing to believe in. I was lost in this world, and felt I had nowhere to turn. I was out in the streets doing things that had no purpose. Often I would reflect on my upbringing, and say to myself, “How could this happen to me?” I had a mother and grandmother who loved me very much, and tried to live as good examples… what happened to me? I’m grown now and have a family, but I wasn’t always there for them. Physically I was around, but mentally I couldn’t keep it together. Getting high and drunk all the time didn’t help much either. Drugs had me all messed up in bondage. I almost lost my wife, kids, and job. I was a wreck. I felt like I wasn’t loved, wanted, or needed. I had a family who loved me and supported me, but I was bound by drugs and alcohol and did not see all of this until it was almost to late… Then one day I had a life changing event come to my life. There was a rebirth in my life.
That rebirth came March 29, 1998. It was one of those cold wet Midwest days. Gray clouds covered the sky, and the clouds seemed to be falling closer and closer to the earth. That day, like every other day, seemed like a good day to get high or drunk to me. Except on this day God had a different plan for my life. I got dressed that morning and called a few of my friends, I didn’t feel like being alone that day. Besides, if I were to get high alone I would be considered an addict. My friends came over and we had ourselves what we called a smoke session. We all smoked that afternoon, and that evening. This was all pretty routine for me. That evening we met up, drank a little and got stoned. I was feeling exceptionally hungry so I told my friends I was making a run for the nearest fast food restaurant to get something to eat. I was on my way when I passed a church. I had passed this church many times before. My mom took us there when we were younger.
The many times I had passed the church, I have had something I can only describe as a tug happen to my heart. The tug wasn’t one that hurt, but something I felt inside my soul. It was like some kind of warning or reminder.As I drove past the church, I felt a slight tug again, but I also experienced something I will never forget… a voice that consumed my body. The voice said, “Why do you ignore me? Don’t you realize that I call you because I want you to listen to me? Know this, I will not call you much longer. If I keep being ignored, there is no time left for you.” Almost immediately, I turned the car around and made my way back to the church parking lot. Just then I heard a different voice that said, “ You’re going to church right now? Don’t you realize you just smoked a joint?” As I put my car in reverse to make my way back home, a man tapped on my car window and yelled, “Hey go ahead and park your car right where you are. They’re singing the last song right now, then the preacher’s going to speak.” I went ahead and parked the car. I went inside and as I walked in, the song was coming to an end, and the pastor of the church was given the microphone. It seemed that a few people turned to look as I walked in. I thought maybe they could smell the weed on me, but right then one of the people that I thought was looking at me came up to me with a big smile and introduced themself. “God bless you brother, come over and sit by me. Is it your first time visiting here?” I kept to myself and found my way to the furthest seat from the front in case I needed to get out quick.
While the pastor spoke, I heard that same voice I had heard as I passed the church continue to speak to my heart. I tried to ignore it, but it was so comforting to me. I continued to listen to the pastor as he spoke, and what I heard come from the pastor’s mouth that day was life changing to me. I thought that the pastor of the church had the inside scoop on my life. At one point while he preached, I looked around to see if I recognized anyone in the church. I thought maybe someone in that church had told him about me and my life. I didn’t know anyone there. Everything he said that night was happening to me, and I knew I had to change the way I was living before I destroyed myself and my family. At the moment I was feeling really alone, like there was a big hole in my heart and I could not get it filled. I also knew at that point that the voice I heard in my heart was the voice of God calling me to Him. I knew if I listened, everything would be all right. I knew the hole I felt in my heart could be filled. I knew I would not feel alone anymore. Just then, the pastor asked if there was anyone in the church that would like to ask Jesus into their heart. He added, “Jesus can fill any void!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Right then I knew that the pastor did have the
I tried really hard to make it to the altar, so I could pray with someone. I felt weighted down, like I had heavy chains attached to my arms and legs. I closed my eyes and began to pray. I asked God for His help. I couldn’t do it alone. I cried aloud and asked God to help me. I asked Jesus to live in my heart! Right then, I felt the chains that were holding me down start to break! Praise God, I felt free. The weight that held me down for so many years was gone. I was high, but now it was the Holy Ghost that engulfed me. I felt restored, revived, and renewed. I didn’t feel the same way I used to.
I thank God everyday for giving me salvation. I give everything I have to God because He gave it to me first. I could never repay Him for all He has done in my life, His mercy endures forever. He is my provider. I ask Him to use me as a vessel and let me spread the good news of the second coming. I thank Jesus for restoring my wife, children, and family to me. I thank Him for taking me from the road of destruction to the road that leads to His marvelous light.
I WAS MAD AT THE WORLD!
Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. Either Jesus Christ died for yours sins, or He didn't (He did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God? We plead with you ... please don't make such a tragic mistake.
To get to know God; to be at peace with God; to have your sins forgiven; to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity; to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help understand the importance of being reconciled to God. What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life.
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