My Powerful Salvation Testimony!
By: Tanja Zimmermann
I was traditional
Religious, got baptised as a Baby and went through Confirmation! I tried
very hard to see and find God but I couldn't. And when we got "blessed" by
Confirmation I expected something to happen. To experience God. But I was
very disappointed when nothing happened, so I left church! I made my
decision to go for the world, have Fun in the world and boys, boys and
Discos (Nightclubs). Then I went totally after my own Will. Was working as a
Praxis Nurse for the same GP 8 years apart 10 month I worked for another
Doctor. I came to the stage where I had everything what I dreamed of. A
small Farm, many Animals, a Husband, great Job (I liked and lived for my
work), huge Garden, Ballett, a Horse which was like Mine (my Boss just paid
for the Bills), many friends, got respected highly etc...
But then one
time I stood in the Kitchen and suddenly I felt if the "ceiling crushed down
onto my Head" (a German expression). I had everything what I wanted but
suddenly, I felt so dead and empty in my Inside! This was a horrible
Feeling. Then I went on a long walk on top of a hill and there was the first
time that I earnestly asked God questions for direction:
"God is that
Life?
Isn't there more to real Life?
Is that Love?
Isn't there more
to real Love?
Is that what I'm here for, day in day out the same till I'm
80 years old and then die?
Isn't there more to real LOVE and real LIFE?"
And suddenly I knew in my Heart; that can't be all! And there I made my
decision to leave everything behind, my husband, family, work, friends,
hobbies and small farm. It was a big decision. But it was a real one; no one
could change my heart and mind! Then I went into the wide world for a SEARCH
for the REAL LOVE and REAL LIFE! But because I went after my own will on my
search, I fell deep! I searched in different sort of works, for example I
wanted to become a stewardess; this is why I went to England to improve my
English. But once I was there I came into travelling and gave up the wish of
stewardess. Then I searched in drugs, pot, speed, exstasy and twice cocain.
This scene took roughly 3 month. Just Marijuana I kept on smoking. I also
searched for the real Love in Men, but constantly got let down in a big way,
that I sometimes even thought about Suizide. I went through a very hard evil
time in England, Bournemouth and London; all together I stayed there about 1
year and 5 month! Then I went to Australia with a trip over Arizona. In
Australia I meat my de facto Mark, with whom I lived nearly 5 years and the
relationship ended end of last year Dez. 1997.
1993/1994 I visited
Germany with him for about 6 weeks. There I meat an old patient, were I
thought she would be dead by now, how I knew her.
But when I saw her, she
was so FRESH OF LIFE, IN LOVE
❤️WITH JESUS, beamed on her face, her eyes were shining
Light and she was "schwärmen" LOVE TALK about JESUS. That JESUS changed her
LIFE!
And everything she was into before, for example backwan guru,
she said then, it was big nonsense.
I was shocked, surprised and wondered
if that "dead" Jesus who I knew at the time, really could have done that?
Now I know I was the dead one not Jesus, HE IS ALIVE!!! I could see, she was
alive with Jesus Christ but I was dead in my Inside!
Roughly about
6-8 weeks later, middle of Jan. 1994, I was alone in a farmhouse in
Australia. There I was reading a pamphlet "in the Bann of demonic power".
And when I read that doing quitschiboard is very evil, that you get in
contact with demons and evil Powers and that God hates that, if people do
that.
Suddenly he opened my heart and showed me by his Holy Spirit that
I have done all this evil things against him and that I am his Enemy. Also
he has showed me by his Holy Spirit in my Heart, when I married my ex
husband in 1988, just before when we walked to the altar in church to give
our "yes". A big spiritual voice inside of me said:"NO"! At the time I was
so shocked and said:" I can't say no now, all my relatives, friends and the
Party afterwards". And then I pushed that voice (spiritual not verbal) away
with saying:" Ach, that must be nervousness!" And I said Yes. And the
marriage turned out to be a big bluff! We didn't fit at all together. Our
opinion in life was completely different and we departed 1 and a half year
later.
Anyway in Jan. 1994 God made me see, that I was a big Sinner
have done very evil things against him. And he showed me that I am his Enemy
and need HIS SON JESUS the CHRIST to have PEACE with Him!
I REPENTED
underneath lots of tears for about 3 days on the ground; but not constantly.
I felt so disgusted about myself, that I could have stepped with revolting
feeling on top of me! I felt like pooh! I even said to God: "Stick me to
Hell, I deserve it with everything what comes with it. But if you can use
me, my body for your Glory, your Holy Name, go for it. (Do. it). I'd love to
die for you!!! And when you finished with it, you still can stick me to Hell
because I deserve it, I won't complain!!!"
I meant that with all my
heart and life! And I still hold on to that! I gave him my word! And I love
to do it! I felt so much LOVE
❤️ for HIM at the time that this deal was meant
truefully!
But he told me I need JESUS CHRIST to have PEACE with HIM,
and I thought I have him already because I was Protestant in my head! Now I
know God wants our hearts not head. And I didn't know or understood anyway
what he has done for us on the cross.
So for the next 10 month I
SEARCHED, first in the Bibel, then one time in a church and I tried to be
good. But the more I tried to be good out of my own strength, the more
uncontrolled I got. I hated myself then and cried very often up to Jesus to
help me. Because I drank once Alcohol till I collapsed. Was an easy girl
with flirting, also cheated my boyfriend twice. Smoked daily marijuana
uncontrolled. And cigarettes I smoked one after the other. It scared me very
much! I could not control my selfish human nature. I had a bad language and
cursed as far as I can remember. I was evil and hated myself for that. I
wanted to be good but I couldn't !!!
I cried to Jesus often for help
and forgiveness! And in this dark evil time where I was so uncontrolled,
evil and lost; suddenly one night:
JESUS CHRIST appeared to
me!
I saw his head and he looked directly into my eyes. And
his eyes were so beautiful,
Full of LOVE
❤️and COMPASSION, sooo Holy, soo Good.
I never
thought anything sooo good exists.
I got drawn to him like a Magnet. In
my Spirit it was if he asked me:
"Follow Me!"
And I answered in my
Spirit:
I do whatever you want, I go wherever you want me to, I will
follow you, whatever, wherever and whenever!"
And then he suddenly
disappeared and I hopped up in bed and was sad that he was gone.
Not
long after when I travelled with my partner and two other acquaintances from
the west coast to the east coast; I went again through a hard time and were
thinking of killing myself, for whatever I did, was wrong. But through a
divine appointment, I met a Christian about 1-2 days after, who told me that
I can get new water baptised, even when I was a baby and got water baptised,
and she gave me the address of her church, where we arrived the next or
following day at the evening service. Because when I lived in Meekatharra,
where I went through the evil hard time and JESUS appeared there to me in a
Vision or whatever it was. It was real! I wanted to make my real own
decision for HIM! For the baby baptism wasn't my decision, neither the
confirmation. I never knew what it was about, just went through it like
school. But I didn't know if I can get new water baptised especially as an
adult. I didn't know anything apart Protestant. And that Christian girl near
Townsville told me that I can get water baptised as an adult and I was very
JOYFUL hearing that. And when we arrived that evening in Townsville it was
like a big conference room without pictures etc. and the Christians started
to worship JESUS and put their hands up and looked up; I suddenly could see,
JESUS is so REAL for them, if they see him sitting on the Throne. And I
wanted that also! I was HUNGRY for JESUS to become REAL to (for) me. From
the preaching I don't know nothing. But in the end they said, if someone
wants a prayer, they shall come into the front. After some time, took me
courage, I went in the front and a lady came in front of me and looked
directly into my eyes. And suddenly I could see the same (glow) shine in her
eyes, like from JESUS when he looked into my eyes.
It was if
JESUS looked through her eyes into my eyes. And in this split second,I
started to cry (wail) very loud and "uncontrolled"! That was the first time
that I had that wailing Love cry. I couldn't stop crying so she called the
pastor!
In my Inside and Heart
❤️ I felt:
"Finally arrived at HOME after a hard,
long, evil way in life!"
It was such a relieving feeling inside of me,
like if I was lost, couldn't find the right way, went through a very very
hard evil time, walking in the shadow of death and finally found the RIGHT
WAY, got brought HOME, in the Holy, good arms of my dear FATHER in HEAVEN,
through HIS beloved begotten SON JESUS the CHRIST, the SAVIOUR of the whole
world!!!
It was like if a child runs away from home, got lost
couldn't find the way back. Went through hell and suddenly saw LIGHT. And
the LIGHT JESUS CHRIST brought it save HOME on his shoulders! This relieving
great glorious feeling, no one can understand if you haven't gone through it
yourself.
Anyway because everything was so perfect I was begging but
really begging the pastor to baptise me the next day, because we had to keep
on travelling to Cairns for my German acquaintance had to fly out. And the
pastor didn't want to first, because of time pressure. But because I
"pushed" him into the corner with begging, he called up to heaven:"Jesus
help me!" And straightaway he tipped something in his machine and said
tomorrow about 2 pm!
I was full of JOY and couldn't wait:
-To make
my final decision for JESUS CHRIST
-To turn away from my evil doing and
Sinns
-I wanted my Sinns to be forgiven and forgotten (because I felt
judged guilty from Jan.1994 when I had Repentance until the day of water
baptism 21 Nov. 1994; since then my conscience
Is cleansed of all my
Sinns; before I felt like in a court judged guilty!)
-I wanted a New
Start in Life with Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour
- I wanted to live
for the good side not anymore for the evil side
- I wanted to be washed
clean by HIS BLOOD and by the Water baptism
- I wanted to be like Jesus,
follow him; I admired him so much how full of LOVE
❤️ and how good he is!
The next day the pastor went
from the stage into a below pool of water, like a little room below the
stage full of water. I laughed first when I saw it, for I just knew the
water baptism with a bit water sprinkling over your head. That was, when the
pastor noticed I don't understand what the water baptism is for. So he
explained that AMAZING GRACE PEACE OFFER from GOD ALMIGHTY!
He said:
"When I get drowned backwards flat into the water I die (to the old tanja
whom I hated) with JESUS on the CROSS! And when he pulls me out of the
water,
I RISE UP WITH CHRIST into a NEW LIFE within HIM! I belong to HIM
then! And I receive the Holy Spirit either now or later! I have to ask the
Father in Heaven in Jesus Name for him. Because the Holy Spirit is the
Hotline between Jesus and me, for communication, comfort, leading,
guiding.....
And when I came out of the water I felt like a FRESH NEW
BORNE BABY; clean conscience, lightheaded, full of Peace in my Inside and
glorious JOY!!! I even jumped up in the air like a child clapping in my
hands out of joy praising God! And because it was such a glorious
experience, I felt sad that I just can do it once, for this time was my real
own decision for him! And it was such an Amazing Experience! And from this
water baptism On Jesus Christ Name everything which I was a prisoner of,
like marijuana, alcohol, cigarettes and uncontrolled sex fell away! I was
totally set free of all this things and much more how I have noticed in the
longer run. The desire and lust was completely washed away!
And the
evening before the water baptism and on the day of the water baptism was the
first time that I noticed my eyes were flickering. But because I didn't get
the Holy Spirit in Power at the water baptism, I was very HUNGRY to receive
him from my dear Father in Heaven through his beloved Son Jesus the Christ!
Because I wanted to know from Jesus what he wants me to do for him. I wanted
to know what he likes me to do or not. What I shall leave behind for him.
Because all the questions I had at the pastor, I didn't get proper answered.
All he said was: "You have to ask Jesus yourself, it's your own, private,
intimate relationship with him!"
So, that was the reason why I wanted
in all the world emergent the Holy Spirit, for the pastor told me, he is the
Hotline and I can communicate with Jesus through him.
The following days
we kept on travelling up to Cairns and I was very hungry reading a book
about the Holy SPIRIT! I was so right into it, that i was not hungry for
normal food! That my acquaintance and partner even got worried. Through
another divine appointment I got the address of a Christian fellowship in
Cairns, where we went about 8 times to church on Sundays. And had 8 weeks
fellowship! There I was asking whoever I found to pray for me so I receive
the Holy Spirit. But nothing happened. Then we kept on travelling up to
Cooktown. There I met an old Christian man and he has told me his experience
how he got baptised with the Holy Spirit and how drunk he was in him, so
that he even couldn't drive his car. His wive had to do that!
I was
amazed and wanted also that this is happening to me. Through a car brake
down we were forced to return to Cairns which gave me much Joy, because I
was very much looking forward to go to church again.
And the
following Sunday the 18 of Dez.1994 that Amazing Grace experience has
happened to me, what also has happened to the Apostel at the Day of
Pentecost where they behaved like "drunkards". (Act 2)
There was "an
altar" call; whoever wants to feel the Holy Spirit shall come to the front!
And wow, I just was waiting for something like that and straightaway in Joy
I went to the front. Suddenly I gently went backwards onto the
ground. There I was stuck to the ground for about 1.5-2 hours. I couldn't
get up, God's power was holding me down. And when some other people tried to
lift me up, God's Power pushed me against their power straight back to the
ground.
I felt like Electricity going through my limbs especially
over my Mouth-Nose area, it circled around there for a very long time. In my
belli I felt something very hot and it pumped like a heart and it went in
time break very slowly directly into my heart; and as soon as this has
happened, I felt so pure real LOVE
❤️ for JESUS on the cross and cried, out of LOVE
❤️ to JESUS the CHRIST. Also I felt very much Peace and
Comfort inside of me. It was such a glorious experience, I never will
forget, I believe! Once they got me up, I was so "high" saturated in GOD'S
GLORY that I behaved like a drunkard or a druggy and said "lallend"
(couldn't speak proper, spoke like on drugs) slurring speech:" wow that's
better than any drug I have ever taken and I never marry!" For I felt so
much PURE LOVE
❤️ for
JESUS CHRIST that I just wanted to be close united to him!
And in 1991 I
was on high drugs for about 3-4 month for example, speed, ecstasy and bit
cocain, so I do know what drugs are like!
But this glorious
highness what comes from Heaven above, you can not compare with the things
from down below. It's so pure and Holy, no words can explain the things
Gifts what god has got for us!
This was the start of my experience
with Jesus the Christ. I have got much much more to tell, for example he has
set me free of all the fear I had; also he has set me free,by his mighty
Name Jesus, his Blood, his Holy Spirit, his Holy Angels and with the Victory
he achieved over the devil over 2000 years ago, from the evil powers here on
earth. Since then I even can't feel them anymore around me! It looks like,
if they fly away when they see me coming by Gods Spirit, who lives within me
in my Heart
❤️!
Also I got introduced from my Lord and Saviour Jesus the Christ the risen
Lord to my real Father in Heaven; that was a very very very powerful
experience! Where I received Power and My dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ
has touched people especially children through me, by his Holy Spirit in a
glorious amazing way! That I myself was so astonished and felt like if I
lifted already up to Heaven!
Surly huge persecution from religious
people and churches came after me! They threw me out of their meetings.
Carried me out, ripped dragged me out! Hit me on my back, saying:"so I spit
the "devil" out"; which is and was the Holy Spirit! Amen! But God forgive,
for they don't know or knew what they were doing!
Since the water
baptism on the 21 Nov.1994 in Townsville, I never belonged to a church or
group of People; this was often the case why I got accused to have a devil
in me and can't have the Holy Spirit because I don't belong to a church! At
the 14 Nov.1995 I had enough when they dragged me out of the entertainment
centre in Perth where a big Christian meeting was and accused me again to
have a "devil".
I said good bye to the churches then and went my own
way with my dear beloved Lord and Saviour Jesus the Christ, my real Love and
Real Life! Amen! I did that before anyway but I still went once in a while
to a big meeting. But since then, I kept myself away of churches etc....
They always tried very hard to get me involved in some fellowship since the
water baptism but I refused from start one!
I want to be free in
Christ my dear Lord and Saviour, also Redeemer and Healer! He has healed me
now completely from my childhood! To the first time I felt love and
compassion for my past bodily "father"! Before, I hated him to death!
My dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ has made a much better person out
of me, who gets more and more the Gifts of the delightful Powerful Holy
Spirit like:
-Love
-Peace
-glorious Joy
-Truth
-Righteousness
-Goodness
-Mercy
-Kindness
-Friendliness and
-Patience!
My real Love and real Life, my dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ has
changed my whole Life and he is still doing it for the better!
I love
❤️ Him more than anything in the whole wide world! Amen!
Halleluiah!
And I love to give my New Life within Him for Him! Amen!
I feel he is my Lover and I am married to him!!!
And I am waiting with
passion for HIS RETURN! Amen!
I had many spiritual experiences but I do
not feel to write them all down.
God knows why!!!
I let myself be
guided and lead by God's Holy Spirit! Amen!